Thursday, July 2, 2009
What am I doing wrong?
This is the question I face a hundred times a day. Is there something I am missing? Am I supposed to be looking harder or doing "better"? God, are you mad at me? I thought you loved the orphans, and that we were supposed to as well? Why is this so dang hard? I am standing firm on your promises but so often I do not understand their application to my life. I have faith that your plans are not to harm me but to give me hope. But I have to tell you here, I am running thin in the Hope department. I cannot do this by myself. If you do not want us to have Marina, why plant her in our hearts? The pain is too much to think of not bringing her home and the alternative she will face. Please? Make a way. Part the seas of government interference and governor infidelities. Change the laws to help us, find a loophole to allow us through. (Soon if we dare ask this!) Instead every loophole is a noose. I pray for you to connect the dots for us as you place the stars in the sky to guide the sojourners. The signs are there, predictable to give direction. Your Word is my star. Mark my path and open the gates that are slammed between us and her. Something that would be so simple for you to orchestrate, and yet it cannot be done by me at all. I am grateful that you made the gate of heaven so much in a way that it simply swings open for those of us who seek to enter. We too, are orphans in a crazy world. I sought first my Kingdom of God, now I seek to make the world a better place in your name. Please protect me from the falling arrows of the destroyer. I temporarily share this world with them, and I could use your protection while I am in enemy territory. Thank you that I belong to you and that will last forever. The fairy tale of "and they lived happily ever after" awaits in my room in my father's house. And it is not a fairy tale but the promise of where Jesus is right now. But until I get there, will you give me this child to love and teach? Let us reach many children, who are the least of these. Release their beauty into the hearts of those who need them as I did once upon a time 7 years ago. Like butterflies, set them free to land in the hearts of the lonely and broken. There, love can begin to heal the injustices of this world, of telling a child they are simply unworthy of a family who will love them. In your own son's name I ask this. Amen. And even so, come Lord Jesus...my favorite verse in Revelation.