Thursday, August 26, 2010

Forever becomes suddenly

Suddenly we find ourselves as the family who was submitted today. Our huge dossier was successfully passed to the state department of adoption and we await a travel date now. It is a different kind of waiting...the kind where you know the rollercoaster is locked down and you are in the seat. Not quite any speed yet, but you know in about the next few seconds it will take off, and mess up your hair as hands raised, it is not a place to get back off the rollercoaster. we are not afraid, just filled with anticipation. Giddy new parent anticipation. She is so dang cute! Caylyn is doing the happy dance on a cloud for us I feel sure. It is odd to think how they will be sisters, but not in the same time zone. I would tell Evan today but he will immediately ask me if we leave tomorrow. He asks me that nearly every single day. I am going to go wander around this quiet house and think about all of this now. Pray for us as we journey forth. It has been exactly 16 months to the day that we committed to Marina. When my dad asked me today what it means that we were submitted, my mom immediately means you have one more christmas present to buy this year:) Pray that nothing goes wrong, nothing goes south and no hearts are broken in any way along this journey. We really are fragile people and at this point need a clean and uneventful trip. No messy stuff. I think I spent all my fierceness in the last 16 months. But you never know. We follow a mighty God and he is forever wandering off the path of safety. Oh lets not even go thinking along those lines!! It is a victory day for sure.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

The mundane part of waiting

It has been a while since I wanted to write or could find the time but here it is Saturday morning near the end of August. The home study update has left this country by way of the postal service and a back up copy was hand delivered and yet their plane was delayed just enough. Neither got there in time to be submitted last week. As this has stayed with the theme of running into brick walls in my opinion, I took this rather hard. I have become and insolent child. Sulking and whining. Feeling sorry for us. What is behind that is the fact that I am tired of chasing and doing and gathering and trying so hard to have it fall short yet again. It is discouraging and yet I should be so happy that everything is there! We are truly free from chasing stuff for the moment. I say that warily since the last several times I mentioned this it turned out to be not quite true and anything can, (AND DOES) happen along the path of life.
We continue to pray for safety and well keeping of Marina, as well as the other children. But this is a fallen world and I don't know what praying does exactly. I just want to get there. I believe that we are going but the delay is wearing me thin. The fight has been exhausting and we have not even met her yet. I do not know what else will occur with this journey but we are being conditioned not to quit. I do have an updated picture of Marina, but have decided not to post it here because open blogs have become a problem for some of the parents on RR. One family nearly lost their child referral because another parent stepped in and tried to out maneuver them to get there first. I can't explain it but there is alot going on in this world that we simply cannot see and should not trust. Frankly, it is a war. Maybe that is exactly where prayer can make a difference. Please if you find the time, pray that God's will be done, and we accomplish what He has set out for our journey. Submission of papers should happen next week or perhaps September 2nd. I will believe it when it happens.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Quick update

This will be short because I am running way behind today but I wanted to update to let those of you praying know that we had our home study update visit at 8 am on Sunday morning this past week. Immigration (USCIS) here in the united states no longer accepts addendums nor are they located in each state anymore, they have been centralized (socialized???) and the result is a full blown home study update with new police background clearances, referrals, home visit, etc. We are waiting for it to be written up and approved again but not sure by whom it needs to be approved by, then there is another family traveling to Ukraine this weekend who will take it if I can get it to them on time. I do not know what all is involved with an home study update other than another 400.00 (before shipping haha) but will pray that it is done soon so I can take it to Columbia to get it apostilled and sent to Tennessee on time to make the plane. I can't imagine anything else needing to be redone but I could not imagine this either so I just gather what I am told and complete MY tasks in as timely a fashion as I can...I let God worry about everyone else. Thanks for checking on us. Cath

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Waiting for what? Commuication malfunction leads to waterboarding

Reminds me of the wardrobe malfunction flash a few years ago. Like waterboarding can be seen as an intense hydrotherapy exercise. So the point of this post? To say that we are still waiting to be submitted because the communication from Ukraine to one person was that my homestudy needed amended to remain in the game of keeping the papers within the 6 month window of non-expiration. Unfortunately the person who was supposed to tell ME that got word that everything was fine. Another 5 weeks wasted. Another 200.00 to get the stupid piece of paper, and drive to the state capital 95 miles each way, and ship it overnight express to an office 5497 miles from here...overnight express is another takes three days usually. So if I get it there on THURSDAY that is the day for submissions and it sits around for another week because they only take adoption submissions for special needs kids on Thursdays. I should have realized that this is the impossible dream. To have something go right in this process. I can hardly wait til we get there and all this goes wrong in a language I cannot possibly comprehend.
And if even one person tells me not to worry because God is in control I will virtually punch you in the virtual eye. This is flat out spiritual warfare and we have a target on our back. It makes me worry that much harder because I know that things are not as they seem on this planet. Even though I know who wins the war, I am still in the battle and it is getting ugly all around me. And I think I know what hydrotherapy feels like, because I truly think I am going to drown in this paperwork. This at times has been exciting and filled with wonder, but most of it has turned to drudgery and defeat. The joy is hiding somewhere but it is not in this process. I pray that Marina stays safe and out of the arrows. And may God twist this attack and use it to change this defeated mom's efforts into a hail mary pass with a score.

And one more thing. Whoever you are posting in the oriental language, I do not know you and I cannot read what you write. Since one little message link has lead to a porn sight you are being moderated and none of your posts will show up here anymore. If you are kind and good, I welcome your prayers, but I suspect this is nothing that has to do with this journey.

Last week I went to the bank and the question "Why not adopt from the United States?" came around. For one, that is not what God lead us to because Marina is not in the United States. The children who get the diagnosis in the United States that they have a genetic abnormality hit the abortion rate of 92%, then about 6% are kept and the other 2% get placed for adoption....where the wait is 2 or more years because there is a demand that outweighs the supply so to speak. In eastern europe the kids with special needs are deemed less than a human being and are not always treated very well and are headed straight down a path to a good ole 1950's type insane asylum. This has a very bleak effect on the longevity of their life span. This breaks my heart to see something that is so misunderstood be treated so poorly. So this is what the ears of my heart are tuned to hear- the cry of orphans far away that absolutely no one is considering unless you count the 200 people I know trying to navigate this journey towards an estimated 10,000 children who have been diagnosed with Down Syndrome. You do the math.
I move on to getting a quote at a mechanics for something and I get the question "is there anything wrong with the kid you are adopting?" No, she has down syndrome but there isn't anything wrong with her health. "Well, why don't you just wait til they can get you a kid with nothing wrong?" Because I want this one and there is nothing wrong with her. "Well, I guess them kids need somebody to love 'em too." Crimony.

It amazes me how many people have an opinion of what needs to be done in this world and they themselves are doing NOTHING. Now I have to say that the circle of you that I know are generally on board with this in ways that are incredibly supportive. Either you knew Caylyn or your heart has ears too because God cleared them on your own life journey. And I cannot tell you how grateful I am for your support. Because this battle is hard enough with people lifting your earth journey in prayer. I think prayer at the very least keeps hope alive. That is how my own heart took up beating again when it was on its way to being petrified stone. "Call to me and I will show you great and mighty things that you do not know". Boy that's life wide open. Great and Mighty. And believe me, there is ALOT I do not know. But I know I am here to live my life wide open for a purpose until I get to where I am headed at the end of this road. I would be lying if I said I did not wish 4-wheeling with Jesus were not so complicated and the paperwork was not so full of hydrotherapy.