I wonder that God has such a sense of humor that He cuts us free on our discovery adventure on Columbus day. Seriously, can you just here Him elbowing Jesus saying I wonder if she'll notice?
And I do. I feel as if we don't really even know what we are setting off to discover. This is the one part of the journey that I have no idea the joys and battles we will face. There is only so much imagination in this brain, and it has exhausted its resources as of this morning. One step at a time, one mountain moved after another. God has proven to be mightier than my faith even, which has been very paltry at times. Every single donation and every saved dime has been allotted and we are completely covered with our known needs. We have just enough checks from work coming in while we are gone to cover our bills. There are still mountains to be relocated but I rest in Romans 8:31. If God is for us who can be against us? That means all of us. He did not fight this for me, he fought this for the children that need a mother and a father. I am not afraid as we head into the middle of this story. I am humbled that God believes in us enough to send us and work through us. We too, are orphans, and he sent a Rescuer for us as well. We lived in a darkness that we did not know was as dark as it was. Until Hope showed up. And the darkness fell away from our lives. Still human, still fallen, but no longer orphans. We have been rescued. May we go with the lesson that we have been taught as we sail on His very own wings today, the wings of obedience.
This probably started out my own personal war. To bring home a child to compensate for the lack of chaos that rang silent in our house after Caylyn passed on. But the need has shown itself not to be about me. Or Tully. Or even Evan. It is about being the vessel of Love that God has molded us into, and broken us to trust Him, so that the light shines through all the cracks of our own weaknesses. Sometimes a voice inside hisses about how I do NOT have to go back into the world of Down syndrome since I was released from its membership. And I know that voice is satan himself. Because I reflect back and there is nothing about Caylyn's life that would make me feel that way...except the leukemia maybe, and that is not relegated only to DS. And honestly, through the battle with Leukemia, I learned that God is waaay closer than we want to believe. I know when I am most broken, God is most close. The more I learn about the needs of the children we are called to go see this week, the more I know He is my strength and my fortress. And once we have seen, we will be responsible, because faith without deeds is dead. The song Albertine by Brooke Fraser has been on a running loop in my head for days now, with those same words if you want to hear music to that line of wisdom. (it is in the tunes player below).
So I know that although we know nothing about how this trip will go, we will go with open heart, open arms, and a willingness to hear Him above all else. I ask that you pray for us to maintain that direction the entire time we are there. Not safe travels or any of that sort of random stuff that would be nice to have of course, but to really know His voice, and to not be afraid to answer Him. I think this is about far more than bringing out orphans. We are light and salt, and we are being sent out as warriors in a crazy war.
The next post will be from Kiev. And I will start posting pictures at some point that will make my droning on a lot more interesting:)