Tulips against the forecast....

I resist the urge to start out with "It was a dark and stormy night..." but it looks like it is turning out to be just such a night. Winter weather advisory for slush tonight and tomorrow. This matters because our heat pump is on its last leg...and the compressor is nearly done on this thing. Three days ago I was taken by a scam artist regarding the repair of my car to the tune of 1250 dollars, unless you add the fact that I probably totally ruined the car by driving it, then it really begins to add up. A minor detail is that my car tags were stolen as well...the good news is that I have work (galore) and Tully is also working. Perhaps we can keep digging long enough to get out of the sand trap we have rolled in to. This is also a find time to call up those sermons on how if you are being tested then God must really love you...man I am sooo feeling the love today! :) I am ironically at peace with things, except for waiting on furthering our adoption plans. Wondering if DSS will notify me if they send my home study on to immigration so we can be approved there. Our fingerprints were done in about 5 seconds and they stated they are only waiting on the home study. I did find some errors in our dossier but was able to fix those with no effort and have them renotarized. Now once again with DSS dragging their opinion around in circles we run the risk of timing issues and having to redo things yet again. If I am able to submit our dossier in March then we are ok not to have to redo everything...if too much time drags this into April I will have to start re-ordering documents. Ukraine has this crazy rule that nothing can be notarized for longer than 6 months in the paperwork that will be submitted to them. So, my prayer request is that you pray that Marina will be on the hearts and minds of every single social services worker that is involved in this process to the point that they cannot sleep until we are cleared. I know that is a bit drastic but we should be moving forward and as many nights as I have laid awake wondering and thinking of Marina, maybe they should be too. Perhaps they don't get the urgency of her situation.
Ukraine has a new president and cabinet members are coming into office, many members of the court system are being replaced...it is a veritable changing of the guards over there. We had hoped to beat this administration change because change is not often promising for eastern european adoptions. Already interpol clearance was added recently to the list of things we still have to do. The elusive moving carrot--I wonder that we will ever find our selves there. I watch the tulip buds at the end of their little green stems and wonder that they will bloom, and yet there is an air of promise seeing them, waiting until the exact right moment to surprise us all with what we knew we would witness. This is the hope that I hold on to. I ask for additional prayer for my friend Shelly who is bearing the weight of the world on her heart these days for her own adoption process. I know I have my friends and family to journey with us, but her, not so much. I forget that the world is a crummy place alot of days when it treats those so poorly who seek to do such a noble thing as bring an orphan (or 3) into their home and hearts and family. You guys around me, you are good to make me know that I have chosen my friends well. I have seen so much mean-ness in this world aimed at special needs children, but really, must we trample their parents to be to the ground as well? Thank you that you support us. I do not take your love and prayers lightly. Perhaps you might blanket her as well? We are all tulips waiting to bloom against the forecast....but I know with your help we can bloom and assist those children into blossoming as well. And that is the journey goal for them. Thanks forever and always, Cathy

Fingerprint appointment set!!!

Finally got our fingerprint appointment for February 16th at 11 am in Charlotte NC. I also have all my reference letters that were in addition to the ones already submitted to DSS and will drop those all to my social worker on Monday. The last thing I have to do is be approved by immigration. It is not a slam dunk so prayers would be appreciated. Oh yeah, and I have to raise about 9 thousand more dollars. I am sooo ready to go to Ukraine. Now if everything else lines up we should be there in March. Oh one other weird little glitch. I have put my passports somewhere in the house that is logical and safe...so logical and safe that I cannot find them. Only Evan's:) It is really important to locate these specific passports because new ones will have a new number will create a ton of new paperwork. They also cost about 80 bucks a peice. This is a stupid thing i do when I am stressed- and have done this for years. One time it took me three months to find my house payment in cash that was stuck in the cd shelf. And we all know I do not have the luxury of 3 months:) If they don't appear by next friday, I submit for new ones. Thanks, Cathy


2 Hours Later!! Passports found in one weird place--an old notebook I had started for our adoption 10 months ago??? Have no idea how they ended up there but I have them now, in a real place that would make sense. Thanks for whoever prayed along with me:)

No real news just wanted to update

We are on the little waiting hamster wheel that goes round and round. I assume it will eventually come loose of the screws and take off for real:) DSS has requested additional paperwork such as more reference letters and some information on what we plan to do with our kiddos if we get taken out of this world early. I also had to get local police clearance which of course was no problem, just a bit inconvenient. Kind of like going to the department of motor vehicles because ya never have the right information on paper the first time ya show up. In the mean time immigration was waiting patiently to assign us a fingerprint appointment in a constantly overbooked list in Charlotte so I finally tracked someone down to say that for the love of pete we would take an appointment in Charleston instead. While this adds an additional 2 hours each way, it is better to have some appointment somewhere rather than no appointment anywhere. I expect to get that actual appointment in the mail this next week along with all the out of state reference letters. I am amazed at how many nurses and doctors relocated since our last hospital stay of March 08. One of the few reasons I love facebook is that the social network transcends all that moving and I can still find folks pretty quickly.

My texas friend and adoptive mama Shelly has sent a little sweater dress with hairbows for Marina for court day and also a wonderful sage color winter coat. I am now ready to get on a plane and put these clothes on that little girl and get on with this program. For so long we have been praying that Marina stay safe and filled with peace, but have recently changed the prayer to hurry up and get us there for her. (keeping her safe in the meantime). Sometimes we just forget what and how to pray I think. I am reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan and it really addresses this prayer issue that we have--like how we recite the same words all the time and ask God to do what he was going to do all the time anyway. Tully and I are both going through this bible study together and it is starting to put God in a much larger perspective. Since we as humans are so finite, it is easy to slot God in there as well, again and again, seeking the sky genie's services. But I know there is more to this than meets the eye and I am always searching for answers regarding the effects of prayer. If I am going to spend the time, I would like to know that it does not sound ridiculous and waste the time using virtual baby talk to the Creator of the Universe.

This has been an icy and snowy weekend. The first sound I was awakened by yesterday morning resembled something out of a war movie as Evan yelled WOOHOOO at the top of his not so little lungs. Followed by the I told you so dance--yes there was snow on the ground. Unfortunately it was very cruncy ice masquerading as fluffy snow...sledding on ice is only fun in one direction and dragging the sled back up the hill was daunting to anyone. Evan has a small abrasion where he skinned his face twice on the ice slipping down. Today we went for a movie instead, finding it to be a safer alternative than ice sledding. Planet 51 was pretty cute and then we went to a little seafood restaurant for sandwiches...upon entering we were faced with the most beautiful wall water fountain. This is the kind of waterfall that penny wishes are made of and Evan separated me from all of my pennies immediately. He only threw one though. When he came to the table he told me he wished for Caylyn to come back and for Marina to get her brother. Who says pennies are not worth much?

I have been promoted at work lately to area supervisor and have also expanded work to cover a couple of hours a week with Family Connection of SC, assisting families with their medicaid questions. This is somewhat hilarious since I probably have more questions than anybody but they swear to train me so we will see how good they really are I suppose.

That is about it for now, the sun is setting and the roads will be icing over again. Be safe and warm. After this weekend I have added thanks to my prayers for Haiti. Thanks that it is not winter as well...

PS the little baby girl Sofia who was our prayer angel at Christmas has gotten a family commitment so she is going home this year. I am very happy about this. I might add that if you click on her warrior button you will be taken to the giving stats for this past Christmas prayer warrior project for Reece's Rainbow. I can't decide which thrills me more, the grant money raised or the families who made commitments. Just check it out and see what impresses you the most!

Last time Christmas will be without you...

Twas the Night Before Christmas--for the Parentless.. ...

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land
there are parentless children, with no toys in hand

No stockings to be hung by the chimney with care
no hopes for a family soon to be there

Their beds are not snug--but cold and quite bare
there are no goodnight kisses--no one to care

While we in our homes, laughing in delight
all settle down for a Merry Christmas Eve night

When in someones' heart--there arises a clatter
there are children in need--who's lives really DO matter!

Away to the computer please go in a flash
to see the sweet face with whom YOU could be matched!

While a child you see--their beautiful face all aglow
could this be MY child--could I already know??

When in the dreams of the orphan--what always appears
is a family to love them, to care and hold dear

As you stare at that child--your heart beats real quick--
for you know in your heart that sweet face will stick

More dreams sweet children have--to call parents by name-
come mama! come daddy! come family to claim!

To the ends of the earth--your heart seems to call
now child--I'm coming--I wish for you ALL!

So on a plane to your child--over rooftops you flew
to hold this dear soul--a wish did come true

And then in a twinkling-I saw through the door
this child of my heart-that was waiting no more

As I got my camera and was turning around-
into my arms did he come with a bound!

He was dressed in many layers from his head to his foot
and into my heart his life was just put

there was no round face--no plump little belly
just sad little eyes, and legs shaking like jelly

In a swirl of a pen, and a stamp and a seal
my world became brighter--like I could suddenly feel!

We spoke not a word--they weren't needed at all
and I knew in this moment where I got this call

God laid his hands on my heart--and to the occasion I rose
and He could do it for you--this question He'll pose.....

It won't be a shout--no not even a whistle
it won't be real clear--but faint like a whisper

Can you make room in your heart--if you try with your might?
And make a difference for one--help them see the light?

I can see you exclaim as you hold your child tight--
Thank you Lord for this gift--you got it EXACTLY right!


Someone posted this recently on RR chat and I wanted to keep a copy of it to remind me how I worried for Marina and the others especially through the holidays. I could never see how in the world my life would continue with the way it has already transpired, but here I am, adding warrior for the smallest of orphans to my resume. We are awaiting our fingerprint appointment and the courteous approval of DSS concerning our homestudy.
We stopped by our facilitator's house in Florida on the way home and really enjoyed seeing her sweet family...actually seeing what I would have expected as chaos and craziness was over run by love and peace that flowed between the children and their mom. It just worked so sweetly. 3 SN kiddos and an infant and a 6 year old little boy who was just precious. It was inspiring and precious and personally I would have spent the day laying on the floor sharing much of my time with Emma who was totally content to enjoy the music within her toy as it was laid against her head. Something about her is so beautiful in a way I cannot explain. Then there is Princess Brianna with her magic shoes and little wand and flowing blond hair. The stop was a good one and in two hours gave me the visual that replaces the imaginary when we are emailing and chatting on Yuku on Monday nights.
I cannot believe we were swimming in the ocean last week in Florida and it is sooo incredibly freezing here today. I am up early, coffee brewing, and I need to go set my work schedule for the day, but I sure do NOT want to go out that front door this morning:) Praying that all good mail comes this week. I would love for us to submit our paperwork to Ukraine the day it opens in February 1. Would welcome a prayer or two to join to ours. Cathy
PS found another photo of Marina that does not have someone's arm in the way, it is blurry but cute:)

Happy Birthday Marina!

Holy smoly we survived Christmas and ten thousand questions on when we get to open presents by Evan the un-weary warrior. I tried to talk a bit about whose birthday it is we celebrate and why but conceded that he is 4 and a foundation is different from a finished construction...feeling that the foundation is the most important step this year. Our oldest dog died Christmas eve, and I found Pita Christmas day under the shed after a hard rain. I told Evan that God must have given Caylyn the dog for Christmas and although he cried, he was ok with that. somehow after explaining it to him I felt alot better too. We are currently in Florida on our yearly trek to seek out sunshine since Caylyn moved on. Christmas was a bit more festive this year and we found ourselves celebrating more than beating down the conflict of grief with celebrating, whereas last year I think grief won out by a landslide. I personally would be lost without the cirlce of family and friends that join hands and prayers for us and realize one day too that you will know I prayed for you all as well. In that regard we keep each other standing and moving through life.

Tomorrow is Marina's birthday and there is nothing she needs more than us at this point (so no socks and underwear just yet:). She will have spent 5 years of her life in an orphanage with no idea of a mom and dad and brother. I want to request something that will take about 5 minutes for you to do. I heard about this cool idea the other day and it is called 5&5...I am going to ask for a 5 dollar donation for Marina for her birthday through our sponsorship link
http://www.reecesrainbow.org/sponsorbachman.htm then can you forward it to at least 5 people who you truly believe will also donate 5.00 for her adoption fund...and see if they can forward it to 5 people they will truly believe will donate. Guys, we are 9000.00 away from bringing her home. 5 bucks is a cup of coffee to you and me, and a golden ticket to a family for Marina. Please pray this turns into a birthday miracle for her. And for us as well. Then we can all know that we invested just a little bit but as a team it will bring her home. Thank you thank you thank you. Cathy Tully and Evan

Counting down Christmas

Evan is getting to be quite the little walking calendar and since he can now read his name he is able to keep a tally of what is his upcoming gifts under the tree...which, to date, is all of them! His enthusiasm is a catalyst to move us forward and although it still feels raw to celebrate much, his encouragement is working its magic. Christmas is coming and Evan is the grand announcer! He planned the raising of the tree, and the lights on the bushes and we complied. Yesterday the three oversized kittens that were napping under the tree were not enough to simply look warm and festive. Evan wrapped his own sneakers and some toys in some confiscated gift bags and begged us to come see!! I have to say he has a real flair for merchandising. This weekend we will actually start wrapping gifts and raising the excitement level up a notch or two. It does not hurt that the weather report has said snow and freezing rain every nine minutes tonight. Festive is creeping in through the segway of a 4 year old little boy. Evan commandeered Tully on a must do shopping trip the other night. Evan went into his room and got down his bank and stated he had to buy his friends gifts that very minute, especially since Jenna Kate was his girlfriend and she needed a gift. (Sigh) Tully took the roll of chauffer and the pair went out to dinner at Mcdonalds and a "the sky is the limit" shopping journey through Dollar tree. They had a blast and Evan did all the decision making, which was totally impressive when he was able to share with me his chosen gifts. He really has good taste and decided all by himself who would get what. He is still proud about that! Personally so am I that he thought of his friends in such an independent manner.

Elsewhere in the world hope is seeping in through the segway of a little girl who does not know she waits for us. Our home study has been sent to Social services for committee review. I assume it will take way longer than I hope but it is completely out of my hands at this point. Tomorrow morning I will take a gamble and put the I-600a immigration request in the mailbox as well. Logical thinkers tell me to wait until I hear from DSS in case they turn us down. The warrior in me knows I will take them to task if they turn us down so I will go ahead and file for our fingerprint appointment and see if we cannot shave some time off of our wait. I have that goal of February 1 outlined in sunlight in my heart as the day we hope to submit our completed everything to Ukraine. This is becoming more and more of a reality every day and it takes my breath away. It is the day the Ukrainian State Department of Adoption reopens for the year and we have worked hard to get the right to stand in that line.
Tully and I spoke a little last night about upcoming events. He remembers the conversation regarding deciding to help Marina much differently than I do. I found it very interesting that we can tell this same story so differently. I think our fears and memories get hazy in order to propel us forward sometimes. In short, he thinks it was me pushing us forward and I felt that the lead was his (even if only temporarily:) "She" that completes thousands of documents is ultimately in charge of motion, at least to a certain degree. I think that God simply used us for each other to take steps forward that we might otherwise have been afraid to make.
We are in still in need of prayers through the holidays. It is still difficult. I wonder that it will be that way forever, even though we have fun in between the hard times. And yet this year is so different from last in that we have come a long way. God's grace is sufficient for us. God has Caylyn and that is sufficient for us. God gave us Jesus as the ultimate lamb, perfect and sacrificial. The more I learn about that kind of love, the more I want to learn. May we learn by doing.
Merry Christmas.

Overload week

This has been one of the most emotional weeks I can remember going through since Caylyn left us. Long term little warrior David Wilkerson relocated to heaven this past week and in all seriousness I always believed him to be the alternate ending to what we experienced but with all the best choices and hard fight that family went through, the ending was a sad surprise to those of us still on the planet earth. His relapse manifested as tumors and went undetected in his bloodwork. So by the time the family discovered the life altering problem, there was not one decision to make regarding his care. I went to his life celebration and out of that great big church I realized I was sitting one row over from the third family group of our "club" ...The Kain family. Little Julia also has DS and has battled Leukemia. She was there and looking so precious I almost had trouble focusing on the event at hand. As I greeted them after the service it was blatantly obvious that they are the sole survivor of our group. Seeing Julia (age 3) was such a journey back to that wonderful age with Caylyn. You cannot believe how much kids with DS remind you of each other, despite how infinitely different they are. Anyhow as I was crumbling inside suddenly Julia reaches for me and is in my arms before I can fully appreciate the moment. Then she wraps her little arms around my neck and lays her head on my shoulder. I have never fought tears so hard and lost that battle so quickly for as long as I can remember. I layed my head back on her little shoulder and my tears fell as I remembered how yummy those hugs are. They are soul hugs, and you must believe me when I tell you that they encompass the heart completely. I looked up and her dad had tears running down his face. Then Julia went back to her sister. Over in mere seconds but one of those fine kodak memories that somehow remain timeless in a thirsty soul.
At some point this last week I dreamed of Marina. That she was sweet and could repeat what we were saying to her. Which means I could hear her voice. This was the first time I have dreamed of her and it was enchanting. For the last few months I have believed her to be in various institutions. Yesterday I received this email that came via Ukraine.

Cathy, Marina was transferred to an older child orphanage for all typical children. So she is doing very well and is NOT at the institution. He has spoken with her parents and they are very glad for her to be adopted by your family.

So he reiterated what I told you....you can request only Marina upfront, visit her, know her, and decide at that time if you'd like to consider a 2nd child. You would have to request a 2nd appt at the SDA, go back to Kiev, etc to get thr 2nd child's official referral....

He says she is a beautiful child, easy, calm and affectionate.

There are no other children at her new orphanage with Down syndrome at this time.

This news was welcomed with tears of joy. I was so surprised at how deeply this affected me. She is doing better than I had imagined and my intensity for seeing her is not driven by fear for her well being as it is simply because I am growing to love her more and more every day. Today she is especially real to me and I cannot wait to see her. Evan was completely enchanting when I told him that God was looking out especially well for Marina and that she was doing well. He jumped out of his chair and ran and hugged me, telling me this was wonderful! I did not see that coming! He understands so much for a 4 year old. And he is looking forward to being her brother, asking me many questions that I have no answer for. I now have two peices of information on Marina. One is her photo, that is old. The other is this update as to where she is. Not too much I can share with Evan that is not speculation.

Our home study is nearly ready to go to DSS for their final approval. I have finished all my information finding and returned it to our social worker. Then it goes to immigration for processing. Pray for speed and precision for God's timing and reasoning for this rocky journey. Evan is sleeping next to me as i type this, having gotten up to see if it has snowed at 7 am, which it has not. But the day is cold and grey, something we do not usually see until February here in the south. Love, Cathy