Who loves the dentis? Who loves the water park??

Seriously, Marina had an absolute blast at the dentist. Whodathunkit? She has 5 cavities but that is not very much damage in my opinion considering the number of times she probably has not brushed her teeth since she got them. Her bottom two teeth are her permanent ones and she is right on target so said the magic dentist. They will fill her teeth with a composit that has NO METALS in it ( I still and always will link Caylyn's mouthful of metal dental work to her leukemia-God can tell me if I am wrong when I see Him). Anyhow we will exercise caution with all the lessons we have learned along the way, our working parenting manual coupled with prayers morning noon and night. That's pretty much all I've got:)

We also found this really cool water park called Rays splash zone that the kids took me to in Charlotte NC for our mother's day blowout weekend. They had a total complete blast and it is a cool place--we got tickets from living social for half price and I am glad we got another set waiting in the wings for more fun sometime in the future. The next day (Mother's day) Evan wanted to go back...HA! 30 dollars in gas is not a donation I want to make twice in a weekend much less twice in 6 months! That was only half a tank...but I digress...anyhow we ended up at big lots and opted for the small splash zone pool. Now if I could convince Marina that bathing suits are not optional (she did wear one at Rays). I am grateful we live in the country. Tully is coming home this weekend and will surprise the kids tomorrow as we pick them up together from school in the afternoon. At 6:45 this morning Marina wanted to call daddy so I let her (He sure was surprised!) She signed and jabbered away about play and school, and then made this huge arch with her arm like COME ON! and said DADDY< HOME NOW! I think he went to hang up and pack a bag!

I took them to Monkey Joes blow up air zone indoor fun place yesterday because they were so good at the dentist, and had some energy to run out...and after playing for about ten minutes Marina found a lady who would let Marina play with the lady's little 7 month old baby which Marina did for nearly an hour. That little girl is destined to work in child care...she was so amazing with that baby! She is gentle and sweet and very in tune to a smile that has been returned to her...she about goes into orbit. The love and joy that expands in Marina almost daily should be a poster ad for adoption I am not kidding. I love when she crawls up in my lap and just lays her head down, or RUNS to greet her brother with huge hugs when we pick him up from school... she is feisty and bossy but she is also the most gentle soul. A fine and beautiful combination!

She and Evan will attend the local karate school day camp this summer, and they love that they will go to summer school together. ME TOO! Kickin' kids has a ton of things planned for the summer, and they will have way more fun than me working out on that hot tarmac at the airport:) By the way, both Marina and Evan will graduate kindergarten this year--and both will be in the first grade next year:) How cool is that? Marina will have to work very hard to keep her status in her appropriate grade but I have seen her determination...it shames mine, and mine is fierce:) Well I have bragged enough for the day, and am feeling all sappy about how much I love my kids, all of them, including the one I can't hug right now. Life turned out a little more amazing than I was expecting three years ago...from black and bottomless to filled with hope and flowers and laughter. There are still hollow moments but I do not let them in to steal anything from us, or from remembering Caylyn. I have to push sometimes to make that happen, but sorrow is not where I want my energy to go when there is so much left to do on this planet. And Caylyn deserves better than sorrow anyway, she is the fortunate one:)Yeah, being a mom rocks the planet in my book. And God keeps his promises. He turned my sorrow to joy. Psalm 126:5

All Amercian Girl:)

It has been too long since my last entry but boy, have we been busy! We have gone to Pennsylvania twice by plane, and planted a good sized garden. Marina and Evan have lots of end of year programs, and getting ready to attend Kickin' Kids summer day camp where those folks have got every single activity in the whole of South Carolina on their calendar! These two kiddos are going to have a blast this summer! Easter was so neat, and Marina figured out to hunt for the colored eggs hidden in the grass...candy is a motivator for nearly everyone in my family and she is no exception to that rule! She had an open house day where we could visit during her art class and the teacher was so kind to even let Evan participate in the project. So that is why Evan is in Marina's class photo...he goes to school an hour after she does so we had that time slot open for him to be with me.
Tully and I celebrated our 11th year anniversary this past friday night and we all went to a baseball game in Lancaster PA with Gramma Sue. It was sure cold compared to our beautiful southern spring, so we could not stay for the whole game, but Marina and Evan had hot dogs and popcorn and lemonade and cheered each time anyone hit the ball ( no team affiliation necessary:). This particular ball park had an amazing playground as well, so we finished up the night with a round of that big fun. The next day we met with a few of Tully's old buddies who brought kids to gramma sue's house and the best fun of all began to unravel! The kids who came were so cool, Wyatt is 5 and his sister Cara is 6 (nearly 7). Evan and Wyatt played in the creek and caught toads and hoped to catch minnows in the trap that they checked 68 times, and Cara and Marina wandered around hand in hand, chasing a stray cat and generally just happy in the sunshine. Finished up the day with a camp fire and the sun went down on tired children worn out from the tree swing on the hill. Huck Finn surely never had such a great day!
Marina and Evan are wonderful travelers and I am so grateful for that!

Coming up we have a general medical check up, and a trip to the dentist with both kids...dreading that day! (may 11th). Marina is learning her version of English in leaps and bounds. Ice cream is now at the top of the list, followed by "stop it mommy!" That probably is from putting the ice cream back in the freezer before the half gallon is either melted or empty...
She always gets her point across and is a master signer, whether it is ASL correct or not, it is so applicable to the subject matter that one is never left guessing what her point is. She has stopped calling us mama and dada and now calls us mommy and daddy, which is really sweet. That was something she just did on her own, nothing we asked of her. Our goal this month is for Evan and Marina to work on manners towards each other, they have gotten too much like brother and sister, now we have to back it up a bit and see if we can be more cordial like friends. It is off to a much better start than I was anticipating, which goes to show, make the standards high!

Evan asked me the other day why we picked Marina instead of any other kid and honestly, I hope I give him the best answer there is....because we simply let God pick her for us. She is a perfect fit for this family, and I could never take any credit for that. Life is normal, like I had always dreamed it would be...of course our sort of Normal is all over the page and not within the lines, which is just how we like it. I am looking forward to planning a long weekend heading to the beach sometime soon, either the west coast or maybe Puerto Rico. (I love free airfare.) After that, I will have to buckle down and work like crazy through the summer on all those vacation bids that I am to cover. Lots of coworkers say I will lose weight, that is a real bonus:) But something tells me its' going to be hot out there! My parents already opened their pool this year so that might have to be my stop on the way home from work alot of days...

Happy spring, summer on the horizon. Life is great! Simply amazingly great...

Lost in translation...

Oh Ms. Marina is coming along so nicely:) She utilizes what she knows, and continues as if it is the gospel...

Marina what are you doing with the Disney Magic wand toy? Why did you break the star off? Oh, it is now an airport scanner...well, who knew you never saw a magic wand in your life? You sure saw a lot of airport scanners though, huh?

Marina, why are you mashing your tongue down with my fingernail file? Oh, that is not a tongue depressor, it just looks the same...sort of. never had your nails done? Only been to the doctor, I see.

Um, Marina, you don't wear contact lenses...

Yes, Marina, you have a boo boo on your knee...why are you looking at me like that? It is called a band aid. Yes, it is pretty weird. Yes it hurts when you jerk it back off. Never saw a band aid before huh?

Marina, that is not a microphone, it is a water hose. Marina, that is not a microphone, that is a part of the badminton net...ok, yes it is. If you can sing that loud with that in your hand, it must be a microphone. I love your song, no one has one quite like you. Carry on Ms. Broadway.

Now I am on the receiving end of the flash cards. Mama?? Whatzis? multiply that question by 97 times...

She passes ladies at church and throws up her short fingered little hands and says HEY!, followed by "BYE!" all in 3 seconds. So friendly:) Out of 40 people in the airline line, she only hugged one man. Turns out he was the father of two adopted boys from Russia...could she have known this somehow?

Marina saw a picture of me holding Caylyn when Cay was maybe 7 months old and she got so excited! "Mama, look! You, Me!" Oh I wish I had been able to hold you as a baby Marina. But I had to wait til you were nearly 6. But if you can erase all that happened along the way and the time without a mama, and you THINK I held you as a baby, that is almost as good. Only remember the good things from before I came....and let go of the things that make you scream at your dolls and beat them with spatulas...and all the behaviors that make me wonder, what was your life like before I came? And what life is like for those in places that do not look like your good school, but maybe more like a baby house that had no patience? I can tell from your confidence that someone was good to you, and I can tell from your backed in the corner stormy dark eyed scared looks, that you encountered those who were not good to you as well. In time you will learn to trust enough to let your defenses down, and you may rest in my arms at night, knowing that no one will hurt you and that your life will be the best it can be, because we love you and work hard to make sure you know. Thank you for coming to our world and keeping us busy with such quality work...loving you and teaching you about all the things that matter. Love is a verb. We will show you. And I am sure that you will show us too, beautiful girl.

Today marks the big day that changed our world...

You might think that since this blog is about Marina (mostly) that today's post would be about her...and in a way it ends up there. But today is March 8th. And three years ago at 5:16 in the afternoon, Caylyn left. I think if the calendar was out of my sight I would still be able to tell you that today is different. The scar tears open alot on this day, every year so far. Because it still hurts so deeply in my heart for me not to be able to hold that little hand and look into her golden flecked eyes that always danced when she caught me looking at her with I love you in my eyes. In no short order, Caylyn changed the world. Not just my world. But alot of worlds around us...This is my nephew's college application summary on why he wants to go to Wofford to study pre-med. I had no idea how much his world had been changed.

"I didn’t expect to get this call. Not so soon. Caylyn had been sick for a while now, but it didn’t seem like this could be happening. She was
barely old enough to be in the first grade, let alone to be in a hospital bed, fighting with a respirator for every breath she took. I was
fourteen at the time, carefree and innocent, and wasn’t completely sure I was actually witnessing what I was witnessing. I had been at a
sleepover with a few of my friends the previous night, but then I got the call. It was seven o’clock and I wasn’t fully awake until I heard the
words, “Caylyn” and “come now.” I rushed over, pants halfway on, shirt wadded in hand, and I could feel the tension in the car on the way
to the hospital. “Caylyn’s special, you know that,” Mom kept repeating to me and my younger brother. I didn’t really know what was so
different about her. I didn’t think she was that different. Sure, she may have slurred her words, she may not have been able to verbalize
what she was thinking, and she had Down’s syndrome, but I didn’t think that made her different from any of the rest of my cousins. I didn’t
see her as a child with a disability, I saw her as family, as someone I would look after and help in whatever way I could.
The leukemia had obviously begun to win its battle with Caylyn. She began to lose her hair with the chemotherapy, and she gained a lot of
weight and retained a lot of water. I spent every spare moment with her I could—playing the games we used to play, putting on my “happy
face” to make her giggle. I guess I just didn’t understand the severity of the situation, because on that day, on the way to the hospital, Mom
seemed to think it was Caylyn’s last. Standing in a room with about ten of my family members, everyone was praying and begging for
healing for this precious baby girl. Caylyn’s dad, Uncle Tully, seemed not to care that I saw him cry for the first time. This was his
princess, his first born.
We huddled around her bed, wondering which minute would be the minute, and then we watched her go. Peace in her eyes, love in our
hearts, we stood by and allowed the doctor to turn off the respirator. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do—I almost threw myself
onto the machine, taking it upon myself to plug it back in and bring my baby cousin back to life. But there wouldn’t be any more games.
There wouldn’t be any more birthdays, more Christmases, with the child I knew as my friend.
I could barely sit through her “Celebration of Life” service. Yes, I know she’s in a better place, but at the time I couldn’t think of any place
better than right beside me. I can’t wait to see her again—to hold her in my arms, to hear her little voice, to see her as a true princess,
crown and everything, in front of a glorious king. But until that day comes, I’ll wait, educate anyone who asks about her life, and search for
a cure for her cause of death."

My sister in law went back to school and graduated on a different path than her original direction as well. She is in research for similar discoveries of a cure.

My mother in law works as an aid to SN children in school and home, making sure the parents have resources to better the world for their own children.

I have gotten so many emails over the years that we have had the privilege of being Caylyn's front line parents...that Cay made a difference to someone or some decision that someone was facing. I am pretty sure my mom has not gotten that many letters about me (that were positive about my impact on the world). Cay was and is a remarkable child...
she loved like Jesus, never cared about her hair, and skipped across the waters of heaven, leaving death with its mouth open. It may have taken her from me, but it released her into a freedom that she will never be burdened with this life again. You can't beat that for a long term sense of the way life should be. She is so close to the original Eden now I just know it. But I miss her very much. Today is hard. Because she loved like Jesus...and that is why Marina lives here. Because you can't watch someone love like Jesus, and not be affected in a life changing way. But I know in my heart that she is only a breath away, just a thin veil hangs between me and her, and it was made possible because Jesus is real and did exactly what He set out to do...not to condemn us but to bring us life abundant and set us free. Our life on earth is a battle ground, but life in heaven, well that is an entirely different playing field. And I know that I know that I know, it is real. Not out of a sense of desperation, but a sense of knowing that can't be disputed. And that has changed my life both here, and there. I am thankful God thought so highly of us to place her in our care. I Love you always, my first born. Mom

Spring fever...

I think I have the best kids in the world. You might think you do, but I have to insist that these are the best for me...of course I would add my princess Caylyn to the mix if it were possible because she would make a remarkable sister to these two wild monkeys, but life is the way it is because of her, so it is not possible to have these two paths converge...Evan has been on his "Why did God..." quest this week. Why did God make earth and not just make heaven and skip this part? Seriously. He is 5 going on 80. When did God make God? Why did God make us all different? Why did God make us speak different languages so we have to try so hard to understand some kids? It has been an endless week for these questions, and I do not know what the instigation was? Some sort of epiphany to see if this mama knows anything at all? (so far, not so much.) He has been delightful to talk with. And oh Ms. Marina! Could there be a more loving child? She is full of joy and songs and so much laughter, topped off with tight hugs and wet sticky kisses. I am including a video of her discovering what a garden hose could potentially be designed for...ukrainian idol style:) Evan could not stand the concert so it ends abruptly when he gets hold of her microphone...but he did apologize and give it back. Evan has learned to ride a two wheeler this past week and also has a loose tooth. This is the week that a little boy takes giant steps towards being a young boy. Makes my heart hurt somehow.

The kids were sick with strep last week and Evan graced me with sharing his kindergarten stomach virus, how kind! This week Tully has gone to Pennsylvania to work on renovating an old mill into an apartment building...we are very grateful for this work that he has, and not sure what we would have done had the offer not come along. The kids miss daddy alot and they tell me that in their own ways....Evan mentions it often, and Marina just hollers nonstop for him through dinner:) We utilize the computer camera but have not had great luck getting it just right, so will work on that some more tonight. The flowers are blooming like crazy, the weather is gorgeous, almost 80* yesterday and topped off with a hard spring storm. Our garden seeds are starting to sprout, and all of this reminds me that our promises from God are in fact, true to His heart and being fulfilled in the grand scheme of things. We are so fortunate to be where we are and who we are, and I am grateful for all that we have become by His hand. We of course are never too near to where we should be, but that does not keep me from enjoying various parts of the journey:) It is the part of life that matters so much, this journey we each find ourselves on.

I won't write too much today as I am trying to manage a house cleaning miracle this am but I am crazy about the weather and it does wonders when winter takes its place at your back, then the rear view mirror...

Tomorrow is dr. Suess' birthday and I want to share a sweet letter from Marina's big cousin Mayfield when he was faced with the task of submitting a letter along the lines of "Oh the Places you'll go" for a college scholarship...ya just gotta love stuff like this!

Dearest Marina,
I’m glad to be writing this letter to you. I’ve waited for years and your parents have, too. You’re a smart little girl with two special brown eyes. You can do what you dream, no matter your size. You may have flown from Ukraine to be here with us now, but we never gave up; not never, no how. And in the same way that we brought you back, just know that you’re loved—in love you don’t lack. You may think you’re different from the kids that you know, but hold your head high—let your confidence show. And one day when you’re grown and are ready to fly, we’ll watch you flourish—and I’ll tell you why. You’re kind and so sweet and compassionate too--don’t get discouraged we don’t look like you. And though other kids may not act the same way, we’ll always be with you; in our hearts you’ll stay. So don’t think of yourself as a child with no home; you have a new family, and a house of your own.

Love Always,

Cousin Mayfield

Marina, the new Ms. Maybelline!

This is just the cutest photo session! Marina was being "quiet" so Tully went in search of her...and she was in the bathroom (probably) being Mini- me. I interject here with the thought that i can draw a straighter line than she can with a lipliner but not by much haha! She had a delightful school valentines party at school friday, just judging by the amount of "stuff" stuck to her leggings and dress! Her sense of humor has blossomed this week and Tully and I were talking last night about how she laughs so much now! She and I usually have several hours to kill each day and we manage to get down right silly so much of the time! But she thinks a ton of things are funny on their own, without me sacrificing dignity to bring her humor! I love that so much about her! What an amazing spirit she has and we are grateful that she is a part of our family. Still creating kitchen masterpieces and that is the best recipe for getting dinner cooked--plop her on the kitchen corner cabinet and let her butter some bread. We have a lot of buttered bread these days for dinner but that simple act allows us to actually have a hot meal most nights. She gets a little over busy when she is hungry and wants to hurry the meal along!
She has been restless at night and wakes up easy and sometimes cries or talks in her sleep. It is time for me to get the courage to haul her (and Evan too) to the dentist soon. I wanted her to like us before we made her mad by introducing that field trip. She got a shot for her MMR update the other day and she did amazingly well. Very brave I might add! Evan came home with a sort of virus yesterday and he evidently was wiped out when he got home, which annoyed Marina that her playmate was down for the count. She did let him sleep for the duration of the day and he is much better today. I am posting a link to a post that was in an english based paper in Ukraine...I want to reiterate that the conditions in this post were not at all what we encountered and just goes to show that as in all countries, ours included, conditions can vary greatly. Please pray for the children of these lesser cared for institutions as they desperately need to be in a family. All children need a family... please see the link as it is posted in my comment section by wordgardener (me). The blogger link never works for some reason...

Happy Valentines Day and may love abound where you are...

A life in the day of the Bachmans... or is it a day in the life?

Holy smokes, It seems like every time I want to update this blog, the day is over and I am snoring away, or Marina has slapped my computer closed and I can't find the cord to update the photos...well today the perfect storm allowed for me to find the ways and means to comply with my goal. The kids are sacked out from dragging around Biltmore House and Gardens for the day, and really, for goodness sakes, Marina was in a stroller all day so what in the world makes her so tired??? Tully and I were the ones hauling her up and down castle stairs...and I wonder aloud, if they had all the amenities they did, what were they thinking, only putting in one elevator? Despite my light grumbling here, we had a great day, and had gone with my parents with whom we really enjoyed the day and a fabulous lunch. Honestly I don't think the kids could have been better. Tully was awed by the place as well...

So much has been going on I hardly know where to start...Marina was invited to her first birthday party of Evan's friend Bodey, and therefore inadvertently had her first Mcdonalds:) When all the other kids had run off to play, Marina was still savoring her cheeseburger at the table! She had a blast to say the least. She has also started going to kids church with Evan and being in his class. He is stingy about letting anyone else help with her papers and such and that makes my heart happy. Even though he is the first to torment her at home with sibling aggravations, he is intent on making sure she has all that she needs when he is the only family member around. She has really taken to following what the other kids do and plays the games and makes up her version of the songs without skipping a beat.

We went to the circus last week, and I learned that even though we got amazing seats, opening night does not come early and the kids were toast by the time half time rolled around so we lied and told them it was over. They were fine with that, and I am sure the man behind us and his date were probably glad that we were leaving since Marina was holding their hands behind us most of the time...I say their hands, since they were holding hands and Marina decided they needed one more for their grip so she reached back and locked hands. They were graceful about it and it was funny, but it was really out of character for her. Wonder what the message was that they took home? I assume she made an impact on them and I know a kid with a message of love when I see one. She had it going on that night...

Our battle these days has been with her wanting/wriggling out of her car seat. We end up sitting by the side of the road in some empty parking lot until she has complied with the rules. I have a nice Britax that was given to us, and that has been our saving grace, but Marina howls when she is restrained, and a car seat seems to meet that dilemma. We are working through that and only time will give us the victory of "belt on" that we seek.

We have made great strides with Signing Times and Marina learns new signs weekly. Evan has now taken to utilizing Marina's most frequent russian words and if we knew what they actually meant it would make me feel better about his use. He speaks like her, she tries to emulate him...no one is speaking English, you see where this is going:) Thank goodness school is giving speech lessons or we would be on an endless treadmill. Now to figure out how to get Evan into real live Russian classes for 5 year olds...

I know that Marina turned 6 on Dec. 29th but that kid had been getting presents since we showed up on the scene of her life...so we waited to officially have a kid party until this past weekend. It was a total blast! We were able to have her party for 8 kids at Hearts of Clay where the kids all got to paint a ceramic figure and then we served spaghetti and meatballs dinner (in my trusty bean pot, a must have ya'll! Just ask me how to get one!) and also decorated our own cupcakes after the ceramics were completed. It was a good party and Marina's cousins were there, along with the beautiful Maya and Maria, and Toni and Darla. Toni is Marina's new best friend at school. Ironically Toni was a little girl that Evan played air hockey with at Greenville memorial hospital when Caylyn was sick a few years ago. Yeah, small world, I know. I remembered her beautiful brown eyes and cleopatra hair cut. She is a doll and loves Marina. How odd that they are now in the same class room holding hands walking down the hall? Somehow I imagine God is not surprised by this sweet bonus.

Hmm....what else? Ah, I started work at Family Connection at the end of January. I will be a liaison to families of small children with DS (0-3 years old) and operate as a support parent for them. I am very pleased to be a part of that journey and look forward to my first new family contact coming tomorrow. Two weekends ago I also got to speak to a lovely seniors class from First Baptist, about our journey. I loved having the opportunity and my only regret was that the person who had asked if I could come and speak, was not there. Peggy, we will have to plot another location to do this, and invite you to that one! But I appreciate the opportunity to have shared the lives of my two girls. I was humbly reminded of how sweet and difficult it all had been up to this point, and how I could never tell that story if there had been no God who loved me enough to have given it to me.

We will hopefully be a part of the new Orphan ministry (adoption ministry) that is being build at church right now. With more christians than orphans, the question therefore remains...why are there orphans? Anyhow I will wait to talk about that ministry until I am sure of all that will transpire. When God's hand moves, I imagine it will be large.

Tomorrow is the first day that Marina will be scheduled at school when it opens so she will be dropped off at 7:45 and then Evan goes to school 45 minutes later. I bet she will be tired but will love it I am sure. Tonight is the superbowl and Tully is quietly watching that...quietly because the OTHER Pennsylvania team is in it and not his beloved Eagles...the kids are probably down for the night and I am off to take a nice hot shower and read a grown up book...and get ready for that early exodus in the morning.
Enjoy the new family photos...she is a honey although a feisty one, and we could not imagine life without her.
PS one more Marina story...the other day we came home from school and she told me she was hungry...not unusual. I told her wait a minute which also was not unusual. But about 5 minutes later, I smell something yummy in the kitchen so I go to check, and i find that she has dragged a chair to the stovetop, turned on the burner, melted butter in the skillet and cracked two eggs in to fry, breaking only one of the yolks...and not too many shells either! Honestly! Special needs my Eyeball! She learned to even only turn the dial on the stove to 4! She watches and learns everything. Scary stuff my friends! No more wait a minutes for her:) And never underestimate the power of a hungry kid to fend for themselves. Yes we spend lots of time in the kitchen but I did not know the kinds of notes she had been taking. The photos of us in the kitchen were of us making cookies, I was too astounded to grab a photo of the eggs..and then she ate em up and they were GONE!