Jeremiah 33:3

Is it true, if you call to God that He will answer you? When is the last time that you did so with true expectations in your heart? I saw a sign once that asked why someone would expect a million dollar answer to a ten cent prayer and it really stuck with me. Is our God too small? A sky genie vending machine where we take our paltry requests? As Jonathan, our preacher asked us to consider today, how much time do we devote to talking with God? Time is His gift to us, and our gift back to Him. Ten percent tithe is the biblical request of our incoming funds, but what about ten percent of our time? Doesn't sound like much does it? But would you stop to consider it is 2 hours and 40 minutes a day? We often feel great if we remember to say our prayers going out the door in the morning, and as our head hits the pillow at night. And yet this is the most important relationship of all time. There is not a single issue that has not been addressed in some manner in the bible. Not one. He has given us so many words that address our heart. Our head, too. So I press this to you, seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God. Listen for his sacred echo, his Holy Spirit whispering softly to you. The answer is there. John tells us in 1 John 5:14 & 15 "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him." The more time we spend seeking God's will, the more aligned we are to hear his voice and open up to the great and mighty things He would share with us. It is also how we will know what to ask that is of His will.

Tully and I are scheduled for his pardon hearing on October 28th at 8:30 a.m. so if you are in the Columbia SC neighborhood of the pardon and parole board, drop by in support. I am still trying to figure out how we are going to get there at that hour:) In addition I have written a request to the Department of Social Services to meet with their investigations board for a review of our request as well on the same day. It is ultimately them that we need to appease. I have yet to hear back but they likely have not had time to consider my request to meet with them so will post when we hear from them next. After that we will submit our 1-600 to INS, the immigration board who will consider our international request. We are moving as fast as we can, but it is not us who is leading this motion, or we would have been there already. As of last night we have indeed been informed that the Ukraine State Department of Adoptions will stop accepting dossiers (the entire compilation of US on paper) as of November 30, 2009. We have precious little time to manage this effort before Marina falls through the cracks. I ask that you please pray with us to conquer the walls between us and her. I do not believe this can be done without prayer. Prayer is what has gotten us to this point so I see no reason to slack on it now! :)

In addition to all of our own fundraising I have felt lead to assist another little girl who does NOT have a family as of yet. Reeces Rainbow utilizes the Christmas season to fund raise for their noncommitted children who have Down Syndrome in an effort to increase the grants for future families. This is how Marina came to have 5000 dollars in her grant before we committed to her. The focus of our Christmas child is Sophia who will be 2 in February of 2010. She is relatively young for a Ukrainian orphan and we hope to really make an impact with her fund raising. If you have any indiviual or group interest in assisting us with Sophia's grant raising please contact me at wordgardener@ymail.com. I will have bracelets available for her and also Christmas ornaments for her to commemorate that she is not forgotten.



Sophia will be 2 in February and has a mild heart defect and Down Syndrome. It is possible that her heart defect has healed, which is often the case with orphans checked at birth and then again years later. I will post more details of the fund raising as the opportunity solidifies. Thank you for remembering us and these beautiful children who have mistakenly been set on a shelf. Cathy

Pray for speed...

As of late I can only hear the echo of James, "You have not because you ask not." Please help us as we pray for the efforts to clear our past and our paperwork to plow forward at breakneck speed. We want Marina home before Christmas. With rumors of an Israeli preemptive strike in December and so many other grumblings in the world, I desperately want to get our family together and back on American ground. Craziness is brewing and I do not want her lost in the cracks of the earth. I wish they could all be safe somewhere, a place to call home that is lavished with love. "I cannot save all the starfish but I will make a difference to this one."

Russian Pressure is Growing in Ukraine

• Posted September 15th, 2009 at 10.45am in American Leadership.

MOSCOW - Is the Obama Administration, busy pushing the “reset button” with Russia is about to suffer a geopolitical setback in Ukraine ? When talking to the security experts here, it sure looks like it.

Ukraine is the key to making Russia an empire and, some here believe, a superpower once again.

In the run up to Ukrainian presidential elections in January 2010, the Kremlin has been ratcheting up pressure on President Victor Yushchenko, which Moscow regularly vilifies as pro-American and anti-Russian. .

Ties between the two countries have increasingly frayed following the 2004 Orange Revolution, the 2006 and 2009 gas conflicts, and the war in Georgia last August. The relations have reached their lowest point in recent weeks, and there is a buzz in the Moscow policy elite of further mischief to come.

The current tensions between the two countries were starkly illustrated by Russian President Dmitry Medvedev’s recent letter to the Ukrainian leadership.

Medvedev accused Preisdent Yushchenko of a litany of anti- Russian abuses, including arms supplies to Georgia before the 2008 war. Medvedev has announced withholding the appointment of the new Russian Ambassador to Ukraine until more “positive dynamics” are reached in bilateral relations after the elections.

A similar message was ominously conveyed in Medvedev’s presidential video blog. Standing on the balcony of his Black Sea residence in Sochi , with a war ship in the background, Medvedev delivered a stern message that resembled a threat of a war to come.

This letter and the video address were clearly intended to undermine pro-Western forces in Ukraine and offer support to pro-Russian politicians and separatists, especially in the Crimea, a majority-Russian speaking peninsula in the Black Sea .

The Russian leadership and Kremlin strategists believe that there is much at stake in the coming presidential election. Many of these issues are strategic, and after the lukewarm response by the West to the Georgian war and Russian-instigated secession of Abkhazia and South Ossetia, Ukraine may be the next target.

The anti-Ukrainian rhetoric in Moscow resembles the invective against Georgia before and after the last war.

Ukrainian politicians call the Medvedev’s letter a blatant interference in Kyiv’s internal affairs. The anti-Ukrainian campaign is in synch with Russia ’s aspirations to secure the “privileged sphere of interests” President Medvedev called for after the Georgian war and many time since. It surely starts to look like an “strategic information campaign” before a massive political intervention — or worse.

Moscow has a number of goals in Ukraine . Foremost, Russia is determined to maintain its Black Sea Fleet base in the port of Sevastopol , beyond the expiration of the current naval basing agreement in 2017. Russian tactics to achieve this objective include distribution of Russian passports in Crimea; a campaign to change the procedure of appointing the mayor of Sevastopol, and the loud encouragement of separatism by prominent Russian politicians such as Yuri Luzhkov, the mayor of Moscow, and Konstantin Zatulin, a loudmouth nationalist MP.

Secondly, Medvedev’s message contained a pointed criticism of the recent EU-Ukraine agreement on pipeline modernization. Ukraine is a key energy transit state for Russia . Around 80 percent of Europe’s gas imports from Russia travel through its pipelines.

Ukraine ’s importance to gas transit will be undermined when Russia finally bypasses it by building Nord Stream pipeline to Germany in the Baltic Sea and possibly the South Stream pipeline across the Black Sea to Bulgaria , Romania , Hungary and Austria .

Lastly, it is clear that Russia is heavily committed to persuading Ukraine to abandon its road to NATO and the EU. Russia ’s information campaign is also focused on defeating support for the European Neighborhood Policy; making Russian the second official language:; and on bringing about a “favorable” result in the presidential elections.

Russians would like to see Victor Yanukovich as the next president. He is the leader of the Party of Regions, who was defeated in the past by both Yushchenko and (in the parliamentary elections) by Prime Minister Yulia Timoshenko.

Moscow may “swallow” a Timoshenko victory, although the relationship may be a rocky one.

The danger is that, as Europe and US are asleep at the wheel, Moscow may encourage separatism, seriously destabilize the Crimea or even Eastern Ukraine if one of the candidates fails to concede the elections.

Ukraine is emerging as a flash point in relations between Russia and the West. 2010 may be the Year of Ukraine — and it may not be a pretty sight.

The author wants to thank Owen B. Graham, Research Assistant at the Davis Insitute and Khrystyna Kushnir, a Fullbright Scholar from Ukraine , for help preparing of this blog.

Next??

You know, just about the time I think we are getting to a point of "rolling" I find out we are still going uphill. It is hard to get up speed going that direction but it is the direction we must move, nevertheless. I know things are in the works but if you are not familiar with God and his divine sense of drama, then this sort of activity is not for you. Some days I wonder if it is for me, but I have never seen the ramp that says "Exit Here". Living on earth does not afford the view that lets me see the insiders view of the whole picture. I want to know where we are in the process but I simply cannot. I am mortal. So I can only carry the ball when I have it and right now, I do not. But by golly, we are in the game and that says alot I think.
I spoke with the Deputy in Chief of the Governors office today. She is a remarkably nice person and took more time than she should have to listen to my story. Even the part where I repeat that time is of the essence. She asked me if I wanted her to make a follow up call to see where we are. Dragging in a deep breath, I answer yes, and I am hopeful that I do not assist in aggravating those in charge of this crazy circus hoop that we must jump through called a pardon. This is not my dwelling ground and I do not exactly know the protocol for how much is too much with the Pardon and Parole Board. But God can manage the world without me worrying about every step so today I pray that I represented His will in the course of events. May He use this next phone call to nudge it even closer to allowing us to really begin to roll.
I have spent the evening painting sugar cookies we made in the shape of the letter A. The cookies are Evan's calling card because every time we are in charge of the cookies, we always paint them blue with the best powdered sugar icing around. This week the letter is "A" and we make the snack for 5 days to represent said letter. Monday was applesauce, tuesday was fresh apples in agave, tomorrow is blue A sugar cookies. With the two days after that I am contemplating artichokes, anchovies and apricots. So far no recipe is stepping forth to accommodate me. as you can see life with a 4 year old can be thought provoking. While I am making cookies, he is riding home from daycare with his dad at the wheel. Evan says he wants to get sick so he can die and go to heaven to play with Caylyn. Today at school they learn the "sign" for "Play". We have known this for years because Caylyn taught us. No wonder heaven looks like a good idea today... anyhow I think Tully responded sweetly when he explained that we would all go when God invited us but we have a job here as a family and we have alot to do to get ready for Marina who needs us to be here when she gets here. Then a long time from now, we would get to see Cay and Jesus too. Man, and I thought the cookies were giving me a hard time....
Last week it was a year and a half that Caylyn has been gone from our care. It hardly seems possible that it has been that long. Which just goes to show how weird time is. When you want to hold something forever it can slip away. Then it holds you forever in a state of want. In the meantime the world surely must be picking up speed because time is flying by, except on the days it is standing still. At this point you are thinking, time is not the weird thing here...

I got my passport back, and Tully and I will complete our health tests on Friday (his is done but results in 2 weeks). I will next acquire payroll information and documents regarding our home and the square feet and how many bathrooms it has. I honestly think people do not adopt because it is insanely tedious and ridiculous in some of the intensity of the questions. Followed by making sure you have a notary person in your pocket for emergency notifications which is every single peice of paper.

It is time to put Evan to bed. I think his heart rate is back to normal now that he has watched a little tv--earlier he had turned on the whirl pool jets while taking a nice bath and there was only enough water in the tub to certify the jets as weapons. He was screaming like a madman and it was really hard to look concerned while inwardly trying to contain peels of laughter. I cannot wait to see what all he teaches Marina when she finally does get here! His skills are mindblowing:)

PS I wonder that it is a coincidence that Evan's bible verse he has memorized this week is Proverbs 2:6? Only the Lord gives wisdom. Knowledge and understanding come from Him.
i haev heard it 50 thousand times this week and it gets more reassuring everytime I hear it. Especially since I do not believe in coincidences.

Labor Day Shift

Something seems to be shifting, the winds of change are stirring both inside and out. The crisp little hint that autumn is on the way as the garden is winding down and the end of summer's flowers bake face down on the browning stalks. Good sleeping weather invites open night time windows. It has been a good summer. We have made some huge decisions and tackled the walls of our personal Berlin, wanting desperately what is on the other side. Perseverance has begun to move walls, as God has arranged events to line up according to a better outcome than we were originally facing.
Usually my own view of autumns breathe in a sense of slowly dying but not this one. This one is a fighting season, one dressed with armor to defeat the clock of allowing Marina to sit in her own cold winter without us. I wonder if her winds of change have begun to blow internally? What has God whispered in Marina's dreams the way He did for Caylyn to take away the fear of her change?
Yes, Tully and I talked about how we both feel a new zeal brewing internally. By the way, the Governor's phone call has moved mountains and someone was placing appropriate calls to those who wrote character letters on behalf of Tully. Working right up to the 5 oclock hour on a holiday weekend from a government office. If we can just get everything together for them by wednesday of this week, maybe we can make that deadline to actually filing our dossier by October for a winter travel date. Otherwise we wait for the spring and too much sitting and hand wringing will be accomplished with that--besides her windows of opportunity will slide a little further towards closed. Institutional life can be life depleting from all I can process about it. So much to do, so little time.
Evan has learned his first bible verse this week through his soccer team devotional time. Proverbs 2:6 "Only the Lord gives wisdom. Knowledge and understanding come from him." May each of us be granted the wisdom He is lavishing, may we know and understand that His ways are the most appropriate for the path we walk, and the love we seek. Then may we trust it for all it is worth. Which is everything.

Baby steps

With the passing days I learn patience and perseverance, along with the fact that there is always something I can be working on to get a little closer to that beautiful little girl. I sent my passport off to update my married name on it-missing the deadline to do that for free by 4 months--oh well. Live and learn-I seem to do that as a constant approach! The dossier is in the works and we have to get more health tests for clearance. We have received a response to our request for help from the governor. He made a phone call on our behalf with a noted interest in the process. I have written back and suggested he take a more direct approach to helping us since I am not entirely convinced that the person he talked to was separated from the effects of the Governors indiscretions and perhaps tossed that post-it note in the trash. He stated he "hoped" it helped. I stated he was capable of making sure it helped and that hope I had when I went in to see him. I felt I had nothing to lose and so much to gain.

The bracelets have really taken off and I have a thousand dollars to send in to Reece's Rainbow for Marina this week when we get back home from Pennsylvania as we are here to celebrate Sue's big birthday (Tully's mom). I won't say which big birthday but it sure was fun and great to see so many family here--the food, friends and family were plentiful. It has been a great week and the weather has been incredibly accommodating, though fall is definitely hinting with the breezes that it is on the way. This breeds a new sense of urgency with the speed at which fall is arriving. I so truly do not want Marina in the Ukraine through Christmas unless we are with her. Please pray for the time line to work in her favor. Every day matters.

I really want to thank my niece Chelsea Callais for re-designing this websight--it is so amazing and NOTHING that I could have come up with in this millenium. What an amazing sight now, and thanks for the grand work. For those who need this done, she is also available for hire for a nominal charge. Obviously she has some skills and I might add too, speed!

I would just like to add that we need many prayers to get through the process so if we come to mind, take a moment and ask God's favor for Marina. If definitely takes a village to raise a child...and I believe it takes Prayer warriors to protect her from the things that are set to doing harm. Thank you if you are a warrior.

One last note, I am going to be published for the second time in Rejoice Magazine this next issue. I am grateful to share the gift I have been given through such a wonderful venue.

Happy birthday to Sue!

time line

For what has felt like a long stagnant season of moments that did nothing to bring me Closer to Marina, it appears I was somewhat wrong. The wheels have been grinding towards movement even in the most unnoticeable manner. The letters I sent to the Governor, the phone calls I made in order to find out I missed seeing the governor, (inadvertently getting to know his staff) and then the day came when the phone call came with it. We were to meet with the Governor that afternoon. For the first time in our lives my husband and I were on time. It is hard to impress your entire life's needs in a five minute span while trying to explain to a man of importance that his own broken life has a purpose beyond what he could imagine. That is where the holy spirit takes the lead. And I have to trust that enough was said to release those points into the air of conversation. In 6 1/2 years the Governor of SC has not pardoned anyone. But he said he would be willing to re-evaluate his position on this fact, based on his own life's activities of late. I felt bad for him and I so want him to know that in time this will make him a new creature with a clarity on hope that is deeper than his wildest imagination. But only God can take the two thorns of wrong and allow for a lesson on love. I breathlessly await the day we know for sure what he decides...but we got a most encouraging letter that was short and to the point that he would look into our request...and then handwritten in the bottom was one sentence..." I was impressed with both of you" Wow. God shone through if that was Sanfords handwritten opinion of us. That was ultimately God's plan all along--for He knows the plans he has for us, not to harm us but to give us hope and a future. I am humbled that it was not thwarted by my own bullish efforts to take the reins.

As for Marina, she has been transferred to an institution but I am told that is ok for the moment and it will be easier to gather her into our world. I know it motivates me to get busy on her paperwork-I took a hiatus from it after spending 8 hours organizing it. Tully's heart is beginning to awaken to her coming again. I know he had shut down on the dauting fact that we had alot of hurdles to overcome. And he had shut her out because it is painful to entertain losing another child, even if it is one you have never had. But he is working harder on the playground he is building and mentions how he has made consessions for a ramp if the ladder is too much for Marina. Hope has a voice now even if it is small.

The other moving motivator is that the Ukrainian State Department of Adoption will close down in November for a 3 month holiday. If they do not have the dossier in October it could easily be february before we see her...and she will be 5 and she will have lived in an institution for way too long. So today I reassess our paperwork and see if I cannot align a few paper stars. Just in case.

Nothing new...but all is ok.

I just wanted to give some insight into something I have had brought to my attention lately. I just finished a beautiful study by Margaret Feinberg regarding the Sacred Echo. In relation to hearing the voice of God, He often has to repeat Himself in order that my density will allow it to penetrate my heart. He does this by sticking to a theme. But I want to go a step further with this idea and say that I think He speaks in a very personal theme, one that is so individualized to each of us that it should take our breath away. I believe he has a life message for each of us. One that shows up in scripture or random conversations or the same reoccuring dream....whatever method it is, it is special and full of the message of hope. Mine, I realized today, is OK. Not the sort of ok that is just better than not ok. But a solid message of OK! It is a kind of promise that has a special meaning not only because of the message, but because of the timing of the message and the portals it has come through on so many occasions. It is His voice to me speaking peace inside a randomly not always ok world. I wish I could explain this better. I wish I had an easier message to offer, although you cannot get much easier than OK when you are trying to put it on paper... It is the final difference in when I get to go forth on issues. I remember thinking one other little girl would be good for our family before we found Marina...even though I wanted to go forward , it was not ok at the time. When things are ok for us and we are in sinc with the creator, life is good even if it is going horribly. I find that we are on the right side of OK. It is hard to shake a joy when that joy has take up residence in the temple of you...and that is why this life is ok even when by earthly standards it is full of frustrations and waiting and answers we do not care to hear. I do know that no matter what, Ipersonally will be okay, because I have the promise that I belong to something more grand and beautiful than the here and now. Even the waiting for this little Marina, is taking on a beautiful anticipation that is building into some wonderful plan. It is all on God's clock. I have work to do here before we are ready to bring her here...and only God himself knows what all I need to accomplish before he makes her way clear to our doorstep...So I patiently seek the voice of God. I bend his ear and wonder that He can keep track of all of our movements, from plodding blindly into quicksand or danger to taking such timid steps that we appear to be stalling. Nudge me, Lord, prepare me as a field. (I admit I am not fond of the tilling). Make me a beautiful garden where life is a good reflection of an eden to come for all who know me and hopefull see you. May my own essence of life be a sweet message to return to heaven as I gratefully thank you for your being. Thank you as you teach me patience, the one thing that I will need excess abundance of as this life ticks around, day after day, minute after minute, closer to the plan you have prepared for me and those I love. Give me the clarity to be faithful to what I need to do as soon as you are able so Marina can come home here on this side of our earth to a life of hope as well. I know you work for the good of your glory and I thank you for giving me the brave heart to want to be a part of such a glorious story. Amazing. Amazing not only that you should consider me a foot soldier for you, but that you could find anything redemptive in our selfish existance that could materialize into glory. How much more ok can we get? I feel sure you will show us...
Give sweet hugs to Cay for us. We miss her so much. What a lesson in love and diligence you sent. Wow.