Sunday, August 1, 2010

Waiting for what? Commuication malfunction leads to waterboarding

Reminds me of the wardrobe malfunction flash a few years ago. Like waterboarding can be seen as an intense hydrotherapy exercise. So the point of this post? To say that we are still waiting to be submitted because the communication from Ukraine to one person was that my homestudy needed amended to remain in the game of keeping the papers within the 6 month window of non-expiration. Unfortunately the person who was supposed to tell ME that got word that everything was fine. Another 5 weeks wasted. Another 200.00 to get the stupid piece of paper, and drive to the state capital 95 miles each way, and ship it overnight express to an office 5497 miles from here...overnight express is another takes three days usually. So if I get it there on THURSDAY that is the day for submissions and it sits around for another week because they only take adoption submissions for special needs kids on Thursdays. I should have realized that this is the impossible dream. To have something go right in this process. I can hardly wait til we get there and all this goes wrong in a language I cannot possibly comprehend.
And if even one person tells me not to worry because God is in control I will virtually punch you in the virtual eye. This is flat out spiritual warfare and we have a target on our back. It makes me worry that much harder because I know that things are not as they seem on this planet. Even though I know who wins the war, I am still in the battle and it is getting ugly all around me. And I think I know what hydrotherapy feels like, because I truly think I am going to drown in this paperwork. This at times has been exciting and filled with wonder, but most of it has turned to drudgery and defeat. The joy is hiding somewhere but it is not in this process. I pray that Marina stays safe and out of the arrows. And may God twist this attack and use it to change this defeated mom's efforts into a hail mary pass with a score.

And one more thing. Whoever you are posting in the oriental language, I do not know you and I cannot read what you write. Since one little message link has lead to a porn sight you are being moderated and none of your posts will show up here anymore. If you are kind and good, I welcome your prayers, but I suspect this is nothing that has to do with this journey.

Last week I went to the bank and the question "Why not adopt from the United States?" came around. For one, that is not what God lead us to because Marina is not in the United States. The children who get the diagnosis in the United States that they have a genetic abnormality hit the abortion rate of 92%, then about 6% are kept and the other 2% get placed for adoption....where the wait is 2 or more years because there is a demand that outweighs the supply so to speak. In eastern europe the kids with special needs are deemed less than a human being and are not always treated very well and are headed straight down a path to a good ole 1950's type insane asylum. This has a very bleak effect on the longevity of their life span. This breaks my heart to see something that is so misunderstood be treated so poorly. So this is what the ears of my heart are tuned to hear- the cry of orphans far away that absolutely no one is considering unless you count the 200 people I know trying to navigate this journey towards an estimated 10,000 children who have been diagnosed with Down Syndrome. You do the math.
I move on to getting a quote at a mechanics for something and I get the question "is there anything wrong with the kid you are adopting?" No, she has down syndrome but there isn't anything wrong with her health. "Well, why don't you just wait til they can get you a kid with nothing wrong?" Because I want this one and there is nothing wrong with her. "Well, I guess them kids need somebody to love 'em too." Crimony.

It amazes me how many people have an opinion of what needs to be done in this world and they themselves are doing NOTHING. Now I have to say that the circle of you that I know are generally on board with this in ways that are incredibly supportive. Either you knew Caylyn or your heart has ears too because God cleared them on your own life journey. And I cannot tell you how grateful I am for your support. Because this battle is hard enough with people lifting your earth journey in prayer. I think prayer at the very least keeps hope alive. That is how my own heart took up beating again when it was on its way to being petrified stone. "Call to me and I will show you great and mighty things that you do not know". Boy that's life wide open. Great and Mighty. And believe me, there is ALOT I do not know. But I know I am here to live my life wide open for a purpose until I get to where I am headed at the end of this road. I would be lying if I said I did not wish 4-wheeling with Jesus were not so complicated and the paperwork was not so full of hydrotherapy.


  1. That stinks! Praying the paper gets submitted and has NO problems.

  2. Banging my head against the wall for you!! I have been praying and praying and we all know that God will win in the end but the battle is hard and sometimes we do get worn out in the fight and occasionally we want to take our armour off and rest but we HOLD ON knowing that no matter what - He loves us - He loves our kids. So we lift up our heads and face another day with God holding up our arms and surrounding us on all sides in this battle for the hearts and lives of His children!

  3. I wish I had some magical words that would comfort you and give you peace and a warm fuzzy feeling of okay-ness through this continual adoption battle, but alas I don't have them. I'll just offer you a big virtual ((HUG)) instead.

  4. I am so so sorry! I hate that you are having to go through all this. If you need to vent you know where I am. Sending hugs your way!

  5. THIS JUST PLAIN SUCKS! I'm angry and frustrated with you. I know you probably go to bed at night some nights wondering if this will ever happen, wondering how this will all come together, wondering if you will ever hold that baby girl! You will and when you do, you'll know you'd go up against Satan again in a heartbeat for this angel! God is on our side but this battle is rough and unfair. You are a warrior so put on your warrior gear and keep fighting the good fight! Love ya!