Monday, October 3, 2011

Getting back to normal, whatever that is!

I think I am nearing the end of the trail with this really does sound like a 72 volkswagon in need of a major overhaul. When it does die the silence could be deafening! I am unable to load any photos up at this time because my computer is too full. It has served me well, and is somewhere between 5 and 6 years old. For an HP with 1Gb hard drive that is probably a miracle. But enough with the eulogy for my computer...I just want you to know why I cannot load any photos of Marina and her lost front tooth:)

Yes being 6 has its' hazards and one of those is to naturally lose teeth. Of course Evan was devastated that Marina lost her tooth first because that is one of those first grade battle scars that bodes famously well with children, particularly boys. Finally he conceded she was lucky. I could not figure out why brushing her teeth for the last two weeks was a battle in itself until we were at Sam's club on saturday getting Evan's glasses ironed back into their original(ish) shape, and I almost fainted when Marina's front tooth was sideways in her mouth. If you aren't ready for that sort of thing it really can grab ya! Anyhow on the way home I looked over at her and she was a mess, blood everywhere but grinning her little jack o lantern smile, front tooth gone. We finally found it behind the booster seat she was sitting on. I really want to find a way to post this photo so I will figure out something. It is so stinkin' cute!!

Evan has slowly returned to eating again, but lost some weight when Marina went into the hospital. He cried for two weeks with a stomach ache each time we were planning on eating, and Dr. Gramps diagnosed it as nerves. I seriously wonder if it was post traumatic stress brought on by Marina being in the hospital but we talked our way through everything for the last couple of weeks and we are all doing better. We have a family camp invitation this next weekend at Camp Courage sponsored by the hospital where Caylyn had been, it is a grief counseling group of us that will get together. I am more and more grateful for that group each time we can get together with them. It amazes me what a long process grief management can really be, though it shouldn't amaze me at all. Something that life altering redesigns who you are when you have to let go of a child or anyone you love. That term isn't really right either, as we never let go. I ran into two amazing people from our past this past week, both survivors of childhood cancer. I was so happy to see them both, but I wonder what sort of reminder I am for them. I hope it is to remind them to LOVE like crazy for the moments we have together. I never meant to indicate in my last post that my faith had waivered when I was so upset about Marina in the hospital but I am human and while God has the universe spinning just right, sometimes I teeter when I am feeling off balance. Then He gently sets me up again. But I know who holds my own tomorrow in the palm of His hand, and I know who loves my kids more than I do. More than anything for me, I love knowing these things in my heart. There is peace in this "knowing".

The impact of Caylyn and now Marina is moving me forward in other ways. I am happy to say I am committed to help with the new orphan ministry at our church. It is really a neat group of folks all in various walks with the project. Some are adopting, some are praying, and some have already adopted. All have the goal of bringing this epidemic to the attention of the church members. I think we have been complacent for too long on many subjects and now that I realize the plight of the orphan is so devastating on so many levels I am really moved to share the cause through whatever outlet I am able. Often it turns out to be a one on one at the grocery store or wherever I am able to stand still (usually with Marina in tow) for more than 2 minutes. She is a great show and tell kind of kid, especially when full blown proud of something like losing a tooth:) She cornered several of the elderly in Sam's when they were too slow in running away just to give them a load of Russian and then poke her tongue through the new hole in her teeth lineup:) That's a great segue into where she came from and how "you can have one of these neat kids too since I didn't get the last one!"

Marina loves school more than just about anything. Her first VERY clear english sentence is "MAMA! THE BUS IS HERE!!!" Her delivery is anything but subtle and it would not surprise me to find that the neighbors count on her more than their rooster or alarm clock.It is certainly dependable to the routine of getting out the door at 5:45 am. Evan is doing really super in school but is struggling a little bit with math and therefore in his first grade drama, makes him say he hates school and that he wants to quit. His face was priceless when I told him he had about 11 more years to go and then some college before we could talk about that. I remember vividly being shocked by the same piece of information in the second grade nearly a hundred years ago. He asked me how many days 11 years was. I was smart enough to figure that out ahead of time and snap out the answer, telling him I learned that in school just so one day I could answer him. Mama's are often mean like that, having the answer once in a while.

Well, fall is definitely here. It is now in the low 40's this weekend through the night time hours. We went from a/c to heat without so much as a weekend to open the windows and let in the autumn pollen. I bought new coats for the kids this past week. I am reminded to ask for survival prayers for next weekend as we are slated to go camping with the boy scouts for the weekend of the 21st and I remember camping in the cold a couple of other times in my life. I am sad to think they do not have individual plugs for the camp sights where we are going next weekend...I would drag our electric blanket with us. I am still in awe that it kept us alive on our previous smarty pants idea to camp in November a few years ago with Evan's best buddies, a trip he still talks about and one that is worth telling forever. It was a blast! We will take Marina on her first camp out as well as it is a family camping trip that will take place at Walnut Grove Plantation. It is less than two miles from this house, so we have options in the middle of the night at least! My original plan was to utilize my free airfare and go somewhere groovy with the kids, like St. Thomas or something (I also have friends in the hotel industry or we would just be able to use the airfare to see what airports look like and that would be about it). But Evan chose the camping trip. I love that boy!

So that's about it for us for now. I imagine I will be on a new computer that can easily manage my photo volume next time I update.(hoping the computer fairy will leave one under my pillow?!?!) The ipad is a pain in the hiney without a usb port as part of the design. I think I will wrap it up and give it to Evan one of these days. He uses that more than I can anyway. Ha, so does Marina come to think of it. She is pretty sharp on that thing and can open at least every game on there. Life continues to be fun and full and busy for us. I am working less these days as most vacations have been used up already at the airport, which is fine by me. I like staying home and cleaning this messy house every day. I like picking the kids up from school. I like making dinner without using the window of a drive through. Who knew I was meant to be a mom like June Cleaver? I bet no one...

Paka for now, Cathy

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