Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Good the Bad and the Ugly...

Where to start? How about just going in order...first the Good. Marina is doing very very well adjusting and loving and being funny. Today she was very busy in the kitchen as Tully and I watched church on tv, until I finally got up to check on her. She had found my muffin tin and broke up the extra waffle, filling the cups with the pieces, then emptied my salt shaker onto the top of them. How Yummy! I found it in the oven, baking...she watches everything and only needs to see it once to learn how to do something. I was not the one who turned on the oven either. Yesterday we got up early and went to the park to ride the train and enjoy a morning with other kids. It was beautiful outside, and a friend gave Marina a bag of really neat clothes, complete with a killer snow suit! Marina LOVED it the most and almost would not take it off once we returned from the park. I loved that she had it too, because she was the only kid out of several hundred that had on a fuscia snow suit:) Easy to spot! Again the kids had a great time and enjoyed the wide open space (as if our 3 acres is not enough). The favorite thing to do IN the house is to sit on the corner cabinet and help me cook, and that is both Evan and Marina. IF Marina would just stop resetting the auto start time on the coffee pot I might have a better chance at getting in front of the day. Hey shifting gears here, I got the best phone call the other day, and ended up getting a job at USAir here in Greenville Spartanburg. I am so excited to get that job you have NO IDEA~! Since we have gotten home, there has been very little work available through the holidays. I do not start until January 10th as it takes about a month for FAA clearances and safety classes OH HA! I only THOUGHT I was finished being back ground checked! The work is part time flex shift so I am really happy about that too. I won't get rich but we will be able to do some traveling to various places for as long as i work there. It will be a fun summer I think. Tully has filled out several applications but again, this is not the time of year to start something as most folks are in year end mode.

On to the Bad...Marina has absolutely no intention of doing anything that is not already on her list. She is as bull headed as any child I have ever encountered. Sometimes she gets in trouble and chooses to spit in retaliation. Then go rubber and then turns to molten lead, actually resembling liquid mercury. She is heavy and fluid and cannot be gotten off the ground. So we have some things to work through ab out anger management. This does not happen often but she really does not listen particularly well if she does not feel like it. On the other hand, she understands nearly every thing we tell her. Sometimes I forget she speaks Russian. The other day after she got out of the bath I told her we needed to go dry her hair. She ran to the bathroom and got the hairdryer out of the drawer. That sort of stuff is spooky because I hardly ever dry her hair so she had not heard that before. The other thing she does that I could do without is her tattling. Then I remember she speaks Russian. Poor Evan cannot blink without Marina suggesting we spank him and he has learned that sticking his tongue out can be tattled about faster than he can get it back in his mouth. I still don't know why she calls him Dasita but that is what it has been since she met him...and that is about as far from the word Evan you can get. Marina does not sleep in one place through the night, and usually comes in search of me. She usually also needs every light on in every bedroom that she encounters, which is disturbing at 4 am to say the least. She will start with Evan's room or maybe the couch, and may use her room, but needs me by the middle of the morning hours. She does snuggle right back to sleep but I never do. I am hanging on by my fingernails by then trying not to fall off the bed that everyone is in. Reminds me of the little book The Napping House where the bed breaks from too many folks napping on it. Really it is a matter of time...

Now on to the Uglys. Evan is having a hard time with Marina being here. That is the truth. He likes her and loves her but often says he prayed and prayed for her but she is different than he thought she was going to be like. I asked him what that meant, and he says it is "Just too hard" and not much else will come out about it. They are at each other often and want to blame everything on each other. I know it will level off but I feel bad for both of them. I might feel a little bad for Tully and I too...loads of referee work to be done here. When I look at her, I can hardly believe she is finally here...then I wander to where she would be if she were not here, and it really upsets me that we were not only the choice, but the back up plan as well...what if we had not come? She is so smart and funny and "electric" I can hardly bare the thought of that light nearly being extinguished, which is exactly what would have happened. So not too much is ugly since this will level off in time as we all find our places in the universe we share. It's the "in the meantime"part that gets a little mundane to say the least. I thought about leaving this out but it is the truth and anyone thinking of adoption should know that adjustments are difficult for family changes. It is also very very worth it and I would do this again in a heart beat. I believe Tully and Evan would too, Tully is grateful she is here and Evan has times of happiness too that are different than being an only child. There is much to celebrate this Christmas and we are grateful for the life that has been added to our family. The photos are just some various home life shots...Evan was a sheep in the nativity scene at the school musical, and of course Marina was proud! It was a cute production and very well done. It is getting hard to finish anymore of this post as Marina and Evan need to get in the bed soon, and Scooby Do is on as LOUD as I can hardly stand! Thanks for visiting, We ask for prayers to include those children left behind with no family this Christmas season, and especially for those who are on the transfer list. It is almost too much to bear remembering their faces and knowing that some of them will not make it.


  1. It sounds like things are going great at your house. Evan and Marina are acting as all siblings do. Isn't it beautiful??
    She sounds like quite the character! I can't wait to meet her (and of course you too - hee hee)!
    I love the book the Napping House. Sounds like me with Riley and Peyton. They end up in our bed every morning. Fortunately Milana does not ever get out of her bed. Not until we come get her. This is a nice thing.
    I will be praying with you for all those left behind. It hurts my heart to think of those I spent so much time with and then had to leave behind. Praying for a better life for them.
    Love and hugs :)

  2. I'm so happy for an update!! I miss you guys!! I suppose because I came home to no family support... I know how you feel with the adjustments. We're still working on Timothy grabbing anything he can get his hands on and throwing things. He is a love, and we are all very happy he is here, but sometimes it does get very trying. Give Tully, Marina, & Evan a big HUG from me!! I pray for y'all everyday! Love you!!

  3. Hello,

    thank you for being transparent about your post-adoption life! Don't worry too much about the problems, just give yourself another month or two and see how things are getting under control little by little. We adopted in summer and all the major problems melted down little by little, though I could not believe it at the time.

    As for the sleeping problem: Have you considered giving Marina a sleeping bag instead of a blanket in her bed? Our son used to get up the moment I put him into bed, it drove me nuts! Then I started using the sleeping bag and from one day to the next, he stayed in bed. Just an idea...