I have so many people to thank for the fact that our last papers are apostilled and have left the country....the fbi report came on thursday and my supervisor from US Air gave up one coveted buddy pass for flight on friday to DC to have the papers authenticated and sent on to Ukraine. But even with these simple words, realize that God has placed people in my life years before I even had a clue where we would be today, and yet there they were, ready to help. That is very humbling to know that with God all things are possible. I posted this to Reeces rainbow after I touched back down on our local tarmac hours after the time I had left, and had time to let the exhaustion wash over me...I have read it several times to encourage my own faith, and realize that most of the time, the words I write are more for me than from me. (I claim that none of them are from me since I am usually surprised by the messages to me within them) All I know is that they seem wiser than I feel, every single time. With clarity I know this is ultimately not about me or this family at all, and yet in the regard of giving it up to heaven, it is free to be in God's hands, and I am only a means to His end.
"The war is on those children, and it always has been...from the days where they were first to go in Nazi Germany, and days before that when they were drowned at birth, and here in America where we have been convinced that we are saving them by aborting them...and institutions where they die slow or maybe not so slow but completely lonely...
The pain for the enemy when people truly walk the walk and reach across to love these children who respond in love even though they have never seen it, well the enemy's pain must twist him into remembering what Jesus did for us. It is easy to bring the fight down to our level and think that it is against the proverbial "me" but it isn't. It is about completing the things God has set before us. And the fight is over us all and about glorifying God. If you have not come to a point of following God yet, then this probably sounds like nonsense, but imagine it were true. The consistency is overwhelming in the intensity of the battle. And when we reach out for someone who needs us to teach them that love is real, I am always surprised that birds don't sing and the deer sprint on cue, but instead demons roaming the earth start hollering and pointing, so we can be attacked. And angels fight over our heads and great throngs cheer for us in heaven. But in battle that stuff gets forgotten because of what is right in front of me making me crazy for the day.
I finished a book last night that I started yesterday on the flight, and for that I will be really grateful to have had that time. If you can get your hands on a book called Radical by David Platt it is a great read, particularly in light of the fact that we are going overseas for these children. It puts it more into perspective. and talks about persecution. I know I am to be honored and humbled to suffer for this cause but I get so caught up in ME and tired of being inconvenienced and having the hope pulled out from under me. This is where my faith is struggling, because I should be thrilled to have come this far. If it weren't for the longing in my heart to hear the voices of the children, maybe I would be more rational about it.
Yes it is amazing what a glass of red wine and a hot shower and sleep can do for a person. but that is nothing compared to what prayer has done even over night. You all are priceless and thank you for being in this band of rainbow warriors. May God bless you richly, and may the target on your back fade in the sunlight. Pray for us still and I do the same for you. We need each other more than you could ever know."
No matter what is decided as to our travels and dreams to bring home whom we are intending, I can now trust that God is in the ultimate seat of control and I have done what I could to comply with the requests placed on us. It has been hard for me to let go...and I know I was never in control anyway...for even my determination is a gift from God. ( some certain husband might beg to differ that it is a gift:)
Pray for God's will to be done and the battle will be won. Psalms 60:12