Buddy Walk is Fast approaching!

What I notice is that EVERYTHING is fast approaching! Fall is just around the corner and there are many new family events on the horizon not just for me but you as well. I sympathize as we just try to figure out when to time the changing over from summer to not so summer clothing in the wardrobes! I wanted to take a minute and post our fundraising page for the local chapter of Family Connection who does an amazing job of unifying our community for those with special needs. Somehow I think we ALL fall into that special needs category but their criteria for membership is generally genetic so they have not expanded it to the world just yet...probably waiting on further information:) Anyhow I created a link to her fundraising page and if you can spare a fancy cup of coffee in her name I assure you Family Connection does a fab job of managing those funds here in the community. Buddy walk is a nationally recognized day of celebration for those who have Down syndrome to be recognized as VERY giving members of society. I could not agree more. Thanks for ALL the support that has come through for Marina and Caylyn over the years. None of it has been in vain and I am utterly grateful.

Marina's Buddy Walk 2012
or you can visit our widget link in the column to the right-> THANKS AGAIN:)

Changing seasons

I am always amazed when I open this blog and realized how much time goes by between posts. I used to post all the time when I was waiting for Marina to come here. Now life is so busy I let too much time get between posts. I am thinking perhaps I need my tonsils and adenoids out too. At least my ears cleaned out from being impacted with wax...because it has changed Marina's life once again. She struggled to heal and her throat was very tender for more than two weeks. She lost about 5 pounds (another reason I may want this done). But school has started and this child can HEAR better. This child can SLEEP better at night so her days are beautiful and not fraught with exhaustion. She has not had one runny nose since the surgery, which for Marina is a huge change...the child was green from day one. But that is gone now. We have a sleep study on monday but I think they will see a marked improvement, though some of the apnea is still present. Anyhow all of this amounts to the fact that it makes her happy to feel better and to hear. She has taken the high dive to learning and is in a perfect swan formation. She loves school so much that on Sunday she lays her clothes out after questioning me that she is indeed wanting "more" and will she be riding the bus on Monday? She has learned her alphabet, her colors and her numbers. Last night she was in need of something to do and wanted to play on the computer. I found a websight to a California public school math program for kids pre-k to 12th grade--Evan often does the second grade link so it was already on the "list" of things we can do. I decided to pull up the pre-k level for Marina since she was not having much luck with the game of solitaire she had started over and over. I thought it would be entertaining. I did not expect her to play for an hour with such amazing success! She followed the avatar instructions and listened to the rules, then played through every problem on three different levels of achievement. Wow! Wednesday she was honored at school as a Kiwanis Club Terrific Kid, today she brought home a note that she was in a fight on the playground....yep! That's my girl! It is so encouraging, no, a better word would be blessed. I am blessed beyond words to see her so happy. She is learning, and growing and "getting it"! Life is coming to her and at her and she is catching it and loving it. She is free to be Marina with only small obstacles such as reality and gravity. Each day I get notes from her teacher. So far they have been all about how great Marina is doing in school. I bet! Marina is putting in another 2 to 3 hours practicing writing when she gets home! She can tell me which word says mom and dad, Evan and Kiki and Sashi (the dogs). The other day Marina painstakingly wrote the letter K and came running to me to alert me that she had Kiki's name all figured out~I thought it was a house fire at first but once she calmed down we figured out the story. Her speech is still a struggle for her but she is getting more clarity in some of her words. She can say dinosaur but school still starts with P, like pool. Still, we are getting there. The animation she displays in her descriptive arm waving is hugely helpful and we rarely miss the point:) Evan is enjoying home-school this year. He is doing much better now but that first week had me questioning my judgement. After about 15 minutes of work in the morning he would ask if we were done. HA! But I have learned if a kid wants to be done, then even if you keep talking, well, they are done. So we break it up. Sometimes I just ask him to go ride three laps around the house on his bike or go find a rock with mica in it. It is as much for me as him. He is learning to cook a meal by himself using the stove and involving more than peanut butter and bread. Nutrition and manners are actually on the front burner as well even if knowledge and implementation are not always connected yet. He is happy to be home. I know he really struggled after Marina came because he lost some ground for his very existence in his eyes. I get that. So he gets this year to re-bond and realize that he is so very important to me and that God has a purpose that was only designed with Evan in mind. Evan won't be little much longer. I already see where he wants to be big but he is too little, and then he wants to do something little and he is too big. He is really smart but I think his confidence is shaken somehow and that is the primary goal to address. Tully brought home a plastic pellet bb gun as a surprise gift and Evan is LOVING that! It comes with a ton of responsibility and Evan has done exceptionally well rising to the occasion. I have a couple field trips planned--day trips to the Franklin Mint in Philadelphia and the monuments in DC...the airline job is a bonus when you home school:) I have two amazing opportunities coming up in October. I was chosen out of a lottery to attend the Captivating "boot camp" at a ranch in Colorado for 4 days. Since reading the book Captivating nearly ten years ago or so (can't remember exactly) I have been a fan of the written works of John and Staci Eldridge. The way they write and present just really speaks to me. Anyhow I have always wanted to go. And now I am. After signing up for that I took some time and filled out a scholarship application for a writer's conference in Albuquerque at another ranch. The conference is a really big deal and a really big opportunity for me. The scholarship was made available by Cecil Murphy who was the ghost writer for Don Piper's 90 minutes in Heaven, loads of other books and several dozen of his own. I was just notified that I was one of the recipients of a full scholarship and so I will be taking my rough draft book and hauling it to New Mexico on the wings of prayers and hope and apprehension. Those things usually go together I find. All I know is that I am going to have to dig out my boots for this next month of off road journeys since I keep being reappointed for the cowboy section of the country. It is an exciting time for me. I had a feeling October would be about "change" for months now. Seems it is coming to fruition. I have been in a "freelance" bible study where we bring no agenda to the table but a core group of 7 women meet once a week and find that we are generally on the same path of discovery so we share what we have learned for the week. It makes for a really amazing picture of how church can truly be--not the building but the total fellowship involved. Not to mention that when God speaks to a person uniquely it is a part of the whole picture/puzzle and we are to share what we know with each other. We have been through the Lord's prayer one verse at a time, who the Houses of Judah and Israel are, how we got grafted into God's story and how RELEVANT the Feasts of the Lord are. The old testament is a story of how the new testament is "played out" so really there are no uber surprises in there other than the way everything fits together. Turns out angels and their counterparts are real, and the entire time of meeting reiterates that God is anything but boring and stiff-necked. This is a time for Harvest and a time for knowledge gained. Having given this some effort and I have found that off-roading through the bible is one serious Indiana Jones type event. SO very much to be discovered and it is just flat out amazing. SO overall everyone is ok. OK is a good place to be. I challenged God 4 years ago that He would allow me to see joy again and I doubted I would. I am happy I was wrong.

Tomorrow is tonsils out day!

I am not sure who is in charge of my clock but it is on steroids these days. Time is flying off in chunks in my honest opinion. We got on a plane the day school let out and headed to Lihue Hawaii...along with several too many other folks! It took us some fancy routing but after 37 hours and a diversion of our own making to Maui we arrived where our clothing had already taken up the corner of the baggage office in Lihui. I probably won't get hired as a travel agent any time soon with my skill set. The nice thing about my job is that we can jump on any flight that has a seat if the gate agent is good at their job....aaaaannnd that would explain how we ended up in Maui for the night, in the rain, with a hotel that had no view unless you like chain link fence and parked cars. On the good side, Hawaii is still Hawaii and it is hard to convince anyone that bad things might go wrong on the way to paradise with kids that are the two best travelers there could be. They simply roll with it. Ok, once I packed up the baby dolls Marina had spread out all over the airport waiting area in Phoenix in order to get the seats they were giving to us, and she went a bit ballistic when I did not stop to fold the doll clothes but we recovered. I was kind of surprised that the folding of the doll clothes was an issue since no one folds ANYTHING at home. Still they love to travel and she and Evan were great. Tully got through that whole 37 hour escapade without once doing anything worse than rolling his eyes...maybe because he was afraid to say anything at all for fear it would be a flood of what I was already thinking about this crazy idea. Lihue was great, but seriously, next time I take my family to Hawaii, Maui is much more suited to the things we love to do, like not drowning in rough surfs. We did really have a blast watching Evan chase the island wild chickens around. He even caught several baby chicks! We had a great place to stay that we found last minute on craigslist in Kauai.There are several great things about working at the airport, and the one I can't get over is that it costs about the same anywhere we go in in America within a few percentage points since we fly free...so really, why go to Myrtle beach when Hawaii just takes longer to get there:)?? Marina finished out the school year with some great things going on, especially in her art and writing skills. Her language skills continue to stagnate, and that brings us to tomorrow. I know what she is saying but that does not count as regular spoken English. As a side note no one has ever actually seen the child's ear drum. Her ear canals are so tiny that no one can see if she has an ear infection or what is going on in there. I have asked the ENT to take the opportunity with Marina being sedated to get in those ears and see what the truth is about all that would, could and should be going on with Marina's hearing. Her hearing tests have always been inconclusive. As you can imagine I am always a bit anxiety ridden when it comes to Marina going in the hospital and being sedated. I happen to know first hand that hospitals are not good places to hang out no matter how great the staff is. Here is where you would expect me to ask for prayer, and here is where I rise to just such a request. Evan has asked many many questions as always when it involves the hospital and a sibling so I feel that he is working through the questions that always lie just under the surface. I am glad he has a chance to address these things in bits and pieces in order to have him grow forward. I am homeschooling Evan this fall and I am so excited at the opportunities we are making lists to accomplish. I really am excited to have the time with just Evan so we can get some one on one time because Marina is like a hurricane most days for met getting to finish a sentence. It simply dawned on me that I would like to talk with Evan again:) If you could hear the mayhem going on around me as I type this you would know what I am talking about. I had to implement a firm rule that a child only gets 4 "Hey Mama LOOK" in a day. I now realize no one can count whatsoever but I do get to say no, you had your times to make me look....I am starting to feel like linda blair in a bad movie my head flies around all day making sure the "mama look!" does not involve a dangerous stunt since NO FEAR has been instilled in these kids. And some days an I told you so just won't cover the big stuff... As expected life around here is as normal as the poster for crazy can adhere to. We just look like a normal family these days. It was really all I ever wanted once I realized how amazing it could be. Normal is synonymous with dysfunctional, right? Father's day was great today. The kids swam with their cousins all day (Hey MAMA LOOK!!) and the taller kids and parents sat around and chatted about anything and everything after a magnificent feast off the senior Dad's grill. Everyone is so tired I feel we will head to bed soon so as not to be late for the surgery tomorrow. I will leave off with a synopsis of my best conversation with Marina lately...."mama? I'm awesome!" Yes Marina, you are awesome!" To which she replies...Thanks Mama!! Kinda hard to argue with that one! We got a puppy at the end of the school year too, and everyone loves a puppy. I have a great video of Marina and Sashi but could not post it due to a program conflict but will work on that. It is pretty cute (Who wouldn't like a video of a kid and a puppy??)Will work towards figuring that out, but enjoy the photos as they are growing up fast just like everyone elses!! Love from Us.

My 100th post!

It has been several months since my last update and so much changes daily that you cannot imagine the difference by now. I apologize for the delay in the posting but my old faithful hamster wheel of a computer finally crashed and it was fatal...my nephew bailed me out with restoring my new laptop that had been shelved due to a virus with extra malice thrown in. He fixed me up so good though, that I have had to learn many new tricks of google chrome to get around and it has been slow going. I am grateful that by default someone can keep me in the game of communication. Anyhow here I am. Back at the keys with fun updates galore!

I remember recently when the kids came home and had to come up with a little project to underscore the value of 100 since it had been 100 days since the beginning of the school year. Last year for Evan was my favorite idea--we glued 100 googly eyes on a tee shirt. I tell you this because it best illustrates what I look like after 100 posts of Marina saving us:)

Marina is in love with school. Her teachers report that since the Christmas break Marina has hit the learning patch hard, and has really begun to shine in unexpected ways. For one, she can almost write her whole name by herself. She can sing the abc song. She has taken over the discipline of the classroom, often seeing what the teachers do not, and putting the child into the sad seat for their misdeeds. Seriously, I have it on good resources that these children stay where she puts them. I have heard the bossy side of Marina, and some days I stay where she puts me as well:) I made her a number wheel this past weekend since she was home sick with strep throat and needed something creative to do....I cut out a cardboard circle, divided it pie shaped into 10 pieces and wrote the numbers 1-10 in each marked of slice--making correlating clothes pins with the same numbers on them I wanted to see how many she could match up...she was polite. And quietly did them over and over, never missing a single one. She visually knows her numbers...she knows them on her fingers. She has the shortest little fingers anyway and when she signs "I love you" it is not without meaning based on the effort she has to put in to fold them the right way. She has lost 3 front teeth and in the beginning shock of that look, it made my eyes water to see her try to eat an apple...it made Evan downright cry because she lost them first. Boys are very competitive but seriously??? Anyhow Marina has fallen head over heels in love with me and I can't say I feel any differently. She never stops amazing me. She wants to spend her time in the kitchen cooking with me, and I know she is probably learning her fractions as we do that. At the very least she can prep foods with some of the best I ever hired when I worked the restaurant field. She also has one of the silliest sense of humors of anyone I know. I laugh so much at her and she does not mind, rather it encourages her. Last night I went to check on her in the tub and she was sitting there patiently waiting with a big green bucket over her head. When I started laughing, she gave me the thumbs up with one hand and a parade wave with the other, never taking the bucket off to see my face. She is adored at school and when I drop her off in the morning, her friends Mary and Candance come running across the room squealing like jr. high girls and throw themselves all over Marina...yes EVERY day....these are the same girls she puts in time out when they misbehave!! But order must be maintained. Unfortunately, Evan does not always get the note that Marina wants to be in charge, so home life is a little more conflicting. And yet, yesterday when Evan stayed out an extra day from school because he could not shake the fever that went with his strep throat, he clock watched like crazy for Marina to get off the bus so he could play with her. Seriously I think the biggest issue is the language barrier. It is hard to see her as old as she can mentally think, when she cannot speak very well and sounds like a baby, and is small in stature. The i-pad has been helpful and she can navigate that thing better than I can and now shoots her angry birds in the right direction. She has several language and speech programs on there and she finds them and practices on her own. She has an insatiable hunger for challenge, which is awesome, most of the time.

Evan has been doing much much better in school. He recently went through a tough phase of crying and separation anxiety that was heart breaking. It has taken months but we are finally in front of that issue I think. His grades are wonderful but he has yet to find a friend that he can really bond with. I took him to New York City this past weekend for a short journey where it was just me and him and we had a blast...until we both realized we were coming down with strep...then it was a very long journey to LaGuardia on the crosstown uptown bus, and a long drive home from Charlotte when we landed. I hope we can do it again when he feels better because we had a great great time. We bought strawberries and bananas for one man who was sleeping in a doorway and we talked so much about life and choices people sometimes lose control of. We took subways and ate large triangles of NYC pizza and went to the Hershey store and the M&M store, and did you know Toys R Us has a ferris wheel in it?? Somehow between FAO Schwartz and Toys R Us I got out of the whole extravaganza for 50 dollars total...including Marina's gifts that Evan chose for her. WHEW! That was amazing! The museum of Natural History was our original destination but he did not feel well enough to do that when we woke up on Saturday morning. Evan has so many talents I am looking forward to seeing how they unfold. He is a whiz at art and building things and techy things, and never needs directions for the hard stuff...just do not give him 2 verbal directives in the same sentence or he gets man-itis and falls apart. It reminds me of the dog Doug in UP,....hey, there's a squirrel!:) ...right in the middle of heading to put on shoes. It's ok. When we are one on one, that is not so much an issue. I have decided to home school Evan next year for second grade using the Abeka program. He is so much fun to work with and I plan on using the airline benefits I have to really learn the things we need to cover. I simply cannot wait to do several day trips to DC and study the Capital. He is one that will really benefit from homeschooling and he is really psyched up about it. He loves that one on one learning time and I hope that by finding a good co-op of students he will bond better with friends in quality rather than the quantity of 24 in his class now.He is also a Cub scout and we LOVE that his pack is so amazing. (Marina has turned out to be a find boy scout as well, never missing a meeting and staying at attention through the flag ceremony!) I would not home school Marina for a million dollars....I could not keep up with her!! (see the fact that it took me longer to make number wheel than for her to work it--it has been that way since day 1). I am hoping to move into a part time permanent position at the airport that has opened up in customer service. It will give me more time with my family this summer for sure. I will still have plenty of time to homeschool since I am assuming the hours will be very a.m. I should know today if I was chosen. If I do not get it and stay vacation relief, then I have most of the fall and spring off from work anyway. I have also taken a job merchandising the Kuerig coffee maker. I don't even know how much I make an hour, and it did not matter once I found out I got one of the machines:) For the most part I make my own hours which is the second best part of the job! ( I was kidding, I do know how much I make:)
Tully is back home from Pennsylvania and life has settled back down and I am really grateful. I was pretty mad at him when he was gone and I was pretty mad at him when he came home. Oh the joys of being together 20 years is that the longer you are together sometimes the worse communication turns out:) I have found that prayer changes things though. And I think mostly all those prayers changed me. Now I am really happy he is here and is working at construction for now, and I am looking forward to getting our team in the right order. Mostly where Marina is not pulling the cart or trying to run over Evan. Marina has trouble realizing she can love 2 parents simultaneously and Tully gets the short end of the stick. I think some of that stems from him being gone alot of last summer and I did so much with only the kids when they were not with Mayfield and Holli or Forest. Tully puts in a great amount of effort on her and the return is a little sketchy some days and wide open other days. He will do fine in the long run though I feel confident! He is crazy over these kids and that is what counts the most.

On a final note I am happy to report that Evan lost 3 teeth recently and life is good for him again, except it makes my eyes water to see him try to eat apples.

Once a long time ago, when my life was full of loss and sorrow, I found a verse from John 16:20 "I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy." I all but mocked God and dared Him to make me smile while it was obvious my best days were behind me. He so lovingly showed me I was wrong. My heart breaks when I think that Caylyn is not here to play with Marina and Evan and me and Tully ...but with Cay here, there would be no Marina in our lives, and perhaps Marina most likely would be sitting medicated in an institution this very day. Now I know for sure that my children are all doing well, Caylyn most of all. This is one of the benefits of being a believer in the promises of God. I know that I know, and for sure Cay is not only alright, but doing far better than the rest of us. I also know for sure that I will see her again. There is only One God who speaks to the heart, and I am humbly grateful that I took His hand. It changed everything about who I am and who I will become in the life journey of walking to His voice. Never perfect, but enjoying the lifelong process of watching my children come to hear His voice as well, and knowing that the ringing of laughter in these happy silly children was His gift for my sorrow. There is healing in that joy. And when the moon is nothing but a sliver in the sky, I see Caylyn smiling too.

My 100th post!

It has been several months since my last update and so much changes daily that you cannot imagine the difference by now. I apologize for the delay in the posting but my old faithful hamster wheel of a computer finally crashed and it was fatal...my nephew bailed me out with restoring my new laptop that had been shelved due to a virus with extra malice thrown in. He fixed me up so good though, that I have had to learn many new tricks of google chrome to get around and it has been slow going. I am grateful that by default someone can keep me in the game of communication. Anyhow here I am. Back at the keys with fun updates galore!

I remember recently when the kids came home and had to come up with a little project to underscore the value of 100 since it had been 100 days since the beginning of the school year. Last year for Evan was my favorite idea--we glued 100 googly eyes on a tee shirt. I tell you this because it best illustrates what I look like after 100 posts of Marina saving us:)

Marina is in love with school. Her teachers report that since the Christmas break Marina has hit the learning patch hard, and has really begun to shine in unexpected ways. For one, she can almost write her whole name by herself. She can sing the abc song. She has taken over the discipline of the classroom, often seeing what the teachers do not, and putting the child into the sad seat for their misdeeds. Seriously, I have it on good resources that these children stay where she puts them. I have heard the bossy side of Marina, and some days I stay where she puts me as well:) I made her a number wheel this past weekend since she was home sick with strep throat and needed something creative to do....I cut out a cardboard circle, divided it pie shaped into 10 pieces and wrote the numbers 1-10 in each marked of slice--making correlating clothes pins with the same numbers on them I wanted to see how many she could match up...she was polite. And quietly did them over and over, never missing a single one. She visually knows her numbers...she knows them on her fingers. She has the shortest little fingers anyway and when she signs "I love you" it is not without meaning based on the effort she has to put in to fold them the right way. She has lost 3 front teeth and in the beginning shock of that look, it made my eyes water to see her try to eat an apple...it made Evan downright cry because she lost them first. Boys are very competitive but seriously??? Anyhow Marina has fallen head over heels in love with me and I can't say I feel any differently. She never stops amazing me. She wants to spend her time in the kitchen cooking with me, and I know she is probably learning her fractions as we do that. At the very least she can prep foods with some of the best I ever hired when I worked the restaurant field. She also has one of the silliest sense of humors of anyone I know. I laugh so much at her and she does not mind, rather it encourages her. Last night I went to check on her in the tub and she was sitting there patiently waiting with a big green bucket over her head. When I started laughing, she gave me the thumbs up with one hand and a parade wave with the other, never taking the bucket off to see my face. She is adored at school and when I drop her off in the morning, her friends Mary and Candance come running across the room squealing like jr. high girls and throw themselves all over Marina...yes EVERY day....these are the same girls she puts in time out when they misbehave!! But order must be maintained. Unfortunately, Evan does not always get the note that Marina wants to be in charge, so home life is a little more conflicting. And yet, yesterday when Evan stayed out an extra day from school because he could not shake the fever that went with his strep throat, he clock watched like crazy for Marina to get off the bus so he could play with her. Seriously I think the biggest issue is the language barrier. It is hard to see her as old as she can mentally think, when she cannot speak very well and sounds like a baby, and is small in stature. The i-pad has been helpful and she can navigate that thing better than I can and now shoots her angry birds in the right direction. She has several language and speech programs on there and she finds them and practices on her own. She has an insatiable hunger for challenge, which is awesome, most of the time.

Evan has been doing much much better in school. He recently went through a tough phase of crying and separation anxiety that was heart breaking. It has taken months but we are finally in front of that issue I think. His grades are wonderful but he has yet to find a friend that he can really bond with. I took him to New York City this past weekend for a short journey where it was just me and him and we had a blast...until we both realized we were coming down with strep...then it was a very long journey to LaGuardia on the crosstown uptown bus, and a long drive home from Charlotte when we landed. I hope we can do it again when he feels better because we had a great great time. We bought strawberries and bananas for one man who was sleeping in a doorway and we talked so much about life and choices people sometimes lose control of. We took subways and ate large triangles of NYC pizza and went to the Hershey store and the M&M store, and did you know Toys R Us has a ferris wheel in it?? Somehow between FAO Schwartz and Toys R Us I got out of the whole extravaganza for 50 dollars total...including Marina's gifts that Evan chose for her. WHEW! That was amazing! The museum of Natural History was our original destination but he did not feel well enough to do that when we woke up on Saturday morning. Evan has so many talents I am looking forward to seeing how they unfold. He is a whiz at art and building things and techy things, and never needs directions for the hard stuff...just do not give him 2 verbal directives in the same sentence or he gets man-itis and falls apart. It reminds me of the dog Doug in UP,....hey, there's a squirrel!:) ...right in the middle of heading to put on shoes. It's ok. When we are one on one, that is not so much an issue. I have decided to home school Evan next year for second grade using the Abeka program. He is so much fun to work with and I plan on using the airline benefits I have to really learn the things we need to cover. I simply cannot wait to do several day trips to DC and study the Capital. He is one that will really benefit from homeschooling and he is really psyched up about it. He loves that one on one learning time and I hope that by finding a good co-op of students he will bond better with friends in quality rather than the quantity of 24 in his class now.He is also a Cub scout and we LOVE that his pack is so amazing. (Marina has turned out to be a find boy scout as well, never missing a meeting and staying at attention through the flag ceremony!) I would not home school Marina for a million dollars....I could not keep up with her!! (see the fact that it took me longer to make number wheel than for her to work it--it has been that way since day 1). I am hoping to move into a part time permanent position at the airport that has opened up in customer service. It will give me more time with my family this summer for sure. I will still have plenty of time to homeschool since I am assuming the hours will be very a.m. I should know today if I was chosen. If I do not get it and stay vacation relief, then I have most of the fall and spring off from work anyway. I have also taken a job merchandising the Kuerig coffee maker. I don't even know how much I make an hour, and it did not matter once I found out I got one of the machines:) For the most part I make my own hours which is the second best part of the job! ( I was kidding, I do know how much I make:)
Tully is back home from Pennsylvania and life has settled back down and I am really grateful. I was pretty mad at him when he was gone and I was pretty mad at him when he came home. Oh the joys of being together 20 years is that the longer you are together sometimes the worse communication turns out:) I have found that prayer changes things though. And I think mostly all those prayers changed me. Now I am really happy he is here and is working at construction for now, and I am looking forward to getting our team in the right order. Mostly where Marina is not pulling the cart or trying to run over Evan. Marina has trouble realizing she can love 2 parents simultaneously and Tully gets the short end of the stick. I think some of that stems from him being gone alot of last summer and I did so much with only the kids when they were not with Mayfield and Holli or Forest. Tully puts in a great amount of effort on her and the return is a little sketchy some days and wide open other days. He will do fine in the long run though I feel confident! He is crazy over these kids and that is what counts the most.

On a final note I am happy to report that Evan lost 3 teeth recently and life is good for him again, except it makes my eyes water to see him try to eat apples.

Once a long time ago, when my life was full of loss and sorrow, I found a verse from John 16:20 "I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy." I all but mocked God and dared Him to make me smile while it was obvious my best days were behind me. He so lovingly showed me I was wrong. My heart breaks when I think that Caylyn is not here to play with Marina and Evan and me and Tully ...but with Cay here, there would be no Marina in our lives, and perhaps Marina most likely would be sitting medicated in an institution this very day. Now I know for sure that my children are all doing well, Caylyn most of all. This is one of the benefits of being a believer in the promises of God. I know that I know, and for sure Cay is not only alright, but doing far better than the rest of us. I also know for sure that I will see her again. There is only One God who speaks to the heart, and I am humbly grateful that I took His hand. It changed everything about who I am and who I will become in the life journey of walking to His voice. Never perfect, but enjoying the lifelong process of watching my children come to hear His voice as well, and knowing that the ringing of laughter in these happy silly children was His gift for my sorrow. There is healing in that joy. And when the moon is nothing but a sliver in the sky, I see Caylyn smiling too.

Yes it is Gotcha anniversary for Marina! Happy Bachman Birthday 1 year!

I am posting Mel Dellanos' rendition of our events with a comment by me at the end. It is a reflection of "that day". I can tell you since I have experienced both child birth and paper birth, that the emotions are incredibly similar, and the pains that accompany each individual event are no worse for one than the other. I love Marina as much as I love Evan, and that is more than I can put into words...

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2011

What were you doing on Tuesday, November 16th, 2010??
Last year, November 16th was a Tuesday. Most people wouldn’t know that, or really care much because it was just another day but I will never ever forget it. I had barely slept the night before because I knew what that day meant. Cathy, Tully, & I had a lot of things to do, we had to pick up the passports, we had to finish packing, and cleaning the apartment (the landlady already hated us so we wanted to make sure not to leave too much of a mess for her to reinforce that opinion LOL!)… then we each had to go to the orphanages and pick up our children, forever changing their lives and all that they knew.

Last year, this day, Tuesday, was Gotcha Day. The day that Marina Hope Bachman & Timothy Danil DeLlanos would leave the orphanage forever in the arms of their Mommas.

The plan that day was for us to go to our regular morning visits. I decided not to go though because it would be just me and Timothy from that day on for the rest of our trip, and because I wanted him to have a little more time with his groupa/friends although he didn’t really know it at the time, and I wonder how much he remembers anyway. LOL I took the time to rest, pack, and finish up last minute things. We all had lunch at the apartment, and at 1 pm Roman picked us up and we headed for the Passport office. Tully & Evan stayed at the apartment.

When we got to the passport office, we had to wait a few minutes. Roman was our translator/facilitator for this errand since Marina (our actual facilitator) was in a different city with another family for their court date. We had been given some papers to hand over in exchange for the children’s passports. We gave them the requested papers, and continued to wait. We were taken to a tiny office and told to sit. We sat. There were three ladies there, one of them was speaking pretty excitedly to Roman, complete with some hand gestures and scary facial expressions. Cathy whispered that something was wrong. She just knew they decided to keep Marina (the child) and weren’t going to give her the passport. Of course, this was sarcasm, and totally said in jest. Nevertheless, we could tell something was wrong. Roman was a pale color, and was talking to the lady in a pleading tone. Then, our suspicions were confirmed when he called Marina and had HER talk to the passport lady. Of course, Cathy and I were sitting there in the dark, and Roman finally (out of the corner of his mouth(as if they would understand him! Hehe)) said, the name on Marina Bachman’s paper from the orphanage was wrong. Before they would give her passport over, it needed to be redone. This would mean going all the way back across town, hoping that the right person was available to get the paper redone, and coming back to the passport office all within about a 30 minute window so we wouldn’t miss the 5pm train which we already had tickets bought for. Now, anyone who’s been to Ukraine knows that such a feat is NOT gonna happen!! Traffic & timing are two things that are NUTS there! So, all we could do is pray. In the meantime, Marina was working her magic. Promising that she would be back to the city that night and would get the paperwork snafu taken care of ASAP if they would just PLEASE give us the passports. I’m not sure what she said to the lady (and I don’t think I wanna know!) but she reluctantly hung up the phone and proceeded with the “check out” process so we could take the passports. When they finally handed them over, Roman ushered us out quickly joking that we needed to hurry before they changed their minds! Lol

Once we were safely back in the car and headed back to the other side of town, Cathy and I finally breathed again, and we also noticed a HUGE vibrant rainbow in the sky… God’s Promise. Very appropriate for us at that moment, and one more thing to make the day memorable. We were so relieved that we were laughing, and crying. LOL

We went back to the apartment where we loaded up two vehicles and parted ways temporarily. My driver took me to Timothy’s baby house, to get Timothy, and Roman took the Bachmans to get Marina from her orphanage.
I’ll never forget the emotions, and the relief I felt that afternoon as I walked into the baby house for the last time… we did what needed to be done, and had a couple of tearful good byes with nannies and the head nurse (Tatiana) and walked back through the big grey metal gate for the last time. The weather was misty and cold, and it was cloudy. We headed to the train station and to freedom for a sweet little boy who had NO idea what was in store for him!!

When I think about that day, it’s still so fresh, I can remember the feelings, the sights, the smells… I remember the panic of thinking that the Bachmans might not get to leave with me & Timothy, the relief when we got the passports, saying goodbye to Roman, my very own security rabbit, and the train ride to Kiev, Nico’s face when he saw/remembered all the bags we had… getting to the apartment and being in awe of how great it was… the kids’ first baths… it was a long day, but one that I will never forget. It was my first day of being Timothy’s caretaker.


It was our Gotcha Day. A day that changed the course of our lives forever. Happy Gotcha Day to our sweet little son. We love you more and more each day!!

And My response:
Ah, I must add that when we parted ways for you to go get Timothy, and we went to Marina across the street from our apartment, there she was, sitting in a little chair in her "room". She looked bored as the nanny brushed her hair and brushed her hair...and brushed her hair. Then Marina gave up her orphanage clothes even the underwear and put on the new dress and stockings and fancy panties and coat and scarf and little red beret, and you could see she felt beautiful. We took a hundred photos since it was the first time we had actually all seen her room and all her friends were sitting around a table having cookies and milk. Then we met the staff at the front door, and choked back tears at the bonds that we formed in such a short time, bonded by the process of handing over a life that truth be told they never intended to watch over for so long:) But I could see they loved her and wished her well. We got in the car, Roman at the wheel, and headed to the train station with no extra moments to spare. Of course we were behind a wreck, and little Marina began to cry...sob, and she just fell apart. We were so sad for her! But Roman spoke sweetly and quietly for about 5 minutes to her, all in Russian, and she stopped crying. I will always wonder about what he told her, but I am not sure he could have told me in english. Marina never cried like that again so I assume she believed him and we somehow proved him true to his words. He really is a security rabbit! Journeying with Mel made all the difference as we were able to help each other and combine our funds to obtain one amazing apartment! Never mind how awesome it is to share the rebirth of a child with someone who has such a heart for going the distance too. I remember the sheer glee at getting to cut the kids free in the giant bathtub and Marina taking about 6 baths a day because she could. I remember thinking if Timothy turned off the light or the tv one more time....but I had no way to finish the sentence with recourse, because he had already done it 3 more times by the middle of my thoughts! Like a precious little puppy, God made Timothy too cute to have mean thoughts about:) I can never forget the friend I found in Mel, the friends I love in Ukraine, and the lives of Timothy and Marina who are now on vastly different paths than they were pointed. Where would they be now if we had not gone? I for one, would still have a giant hole in my heart. It is still broken but heals more every time I hear Marina laugh. And the cracks are now like stained glass, they let the light shine through in an interesting pattern. Thank you Mel for posting our memories. You did an amazing job. Probably because you are an amazing person. Love, Cathy

Nearly a year has gone by....

and I can hardly believe the changes in Marina, and Evan too for that matter. Just yesterday Marina and Evan were headed to the car pool line to get in my car and Marina was just full of herself! Evan looked totally dejected and on the edge of tears...this has all been brought about because Marina lost yet another tooth yesterday! Evan's are loose, but Marina does not say a word about her teeth being loose and before you know it, she has two missing from the front and another that will come out this week on the bottom. This is devastation for a 6 year old boy for some reason. It is now his obsession so I feel sure he will wiggle his own tooth out this week as well. I am simply thankful that apple season came early and halloween is over...these kids love apples and are starting to look like little jack o lanterns! I have noticed Marina being much less feisty in the last couple of weeks. Less spitting, less lashing out...and FULL of hugs and love. She signs she loves me when she heads to the swingset out the back door. Evan has taught her this and I am grateful. I sit here typing and I am full of LOVE for these two amazing children who tenderize my heart just looking at them. I used to keep a verse in my bathroom taped to the mirror about how sorrow would be replaced by joy. I actually got it from a church mission group who came to the hospital during Cay's leukemia battle and church missionaries brought things to strangers who were there (maybe toiletries or something like that) and anyhow this handwritten verse was tucked in whatever it was that I got. I found it in my things after we left the hospital and Cay had used another portal to exit...so I taped it to my mirror in the bathroom and I cannot tell you how many times I mocked that verse and begged God to make it happen at the same time. Well, it has happened. Yes I see Caylyn when I look at Marina...and had I known Marina existed, I would have seen her when I looked at Cay. They are terribly similar, and vastly different. Yes, joy has replaced my sorrow. There are things I am sure of now that have become rock solid within. I am sure Caylyn is safe and a mighty force still being used by God. I am sure Marina is safe and a mighty force being used by God...and I am seeing adoption take root in my son's heart as a true concern and I really hope it will shape how he changes the world as well, because I know he is going to. We all do in some way every single day.
So we have been busy as always. Evan is a tiger cub scout and Marina would not miss a scout meeting if the sky were falling...the kids are doing well in school too. We went to San Juan on a quick 3 day trip last week when the kids had an extra day off (groupon coupons rock!)The leaves had started to change and the nights were cold and we had not been to the beach as a family all year, so we hopped on a plane and enjoyed simply building castles and jumping waves. I could not tell you much about the country other than the water is perfect and the hotel was 5 minutes from the airport. Both kids had runny noses when we left, and the ocean was the remedy that healed most of that! I feel sure it was the least expensive trip we have ever gone on. It is because of this perk that I love my job at USAir! Marina attended her first Buddy walk and took to the front of the line for photos (shocking!!). We have attended Rachels Run and spoken to families about reaching out to make a difference.
I personally have battled and battled with the fact that our USCIS immigration approval will expire in December for adopting a second child from Ukraine and it is killing me inside that we are leaving someone behind. Yes, I can start over but WHY? Tully has said not right now and it is not sitting well with me at all. I have such a restlessness about this. But it seems like it will not be anything I can fix at this juncture in time. I cannot extend our time without another home study, and that window is closing fast since it has to go through DSS again. I would appreciate prayers for peace over this. I am working in other ways though to make a difference as opportunities arise. I have been part of a growing orphan ministry at our church and we will officially launch this soon which is very exciting! I hope to host a shoe drive for orphans pretty soon. I went to Jim DeMints conference on orphans and adoption and it was totally amazing. I found a post yesterday from another mom and I will add it here: I think it is similar to how I feel about urgency. If it does not show up which is often the case with blogger for some reason, go to nogreaterjoymom.com and spend a minute with words from Adeye--she is really amazing. So I am one but there are more. Maybe God will channel some of this mad hatter feeling in me about the obvious fact that every month even here in South Carolina 60 children will age out of the foster system without a permanent family they can count on...what do those kids do for holidays and hope and strength now that the state has graduated them to the street? And you wonder why the jails are full of youth? Were YOU ready to live life on your own at 18? Why has the church turned over the command to care for orphans and widows to the state and when will we reclaim this as our right and responsibility? Honestly I promise this is not where I thought this post was headed...but these are things that we have to stop turning our eyes away from. 147 million orphans worldwide is an epidemic. It is in our back yard as well as across the oceans where we do not let our minds wander for long because we want to scamper back to where it is safe here in America and we do not treat our orphans poorly, do we? Do we? And yet you know we do when you read the paper or see the news. It has to change. I am one...be we are more.
And so it has been a year since we first met Marina, and when you go back to the first pictures of Marina and compare them to now, can you see what being a member of a family who loves her has done? Does not every child deserve to be loved? I cannot forget the alternative for her had we not gone. That alternative is a reality and a majority of what is happening to little children as our lives go on and we do not think about it or consider it because it is too sad or too difficult. But it is still real whether we admit it to ourselves or not.

Once our eyes are opened we cannot pretend we do not know what to do. Not everyone can adopt, but everyone can help. I hope that during Orphan awareness month you will be not just more aware, but will find a way to help be the voice of a child. I put this as a starting point just to make it easy for you. I know for a fact that these grants DO get handed to a family who will travel to bring a child home. Every dollar helps. It made it all possible for us. http://reecesrainbow.org/angeltreekids

I know the world is full of needs. I just can't think of one more important than helping a child who has no voice. When I think of the amount of money we spend here in America to dress our dogs for halloween I am utterly heart broken. This does not set well with me. No it is not my money to redistribute and delegate for the least of these... but it says alot about how callous our hearts have become in this world and our hearts need to be broken for these lost children...every single one of them. Together we can make a difference. I appreciate everyone who helped us bring Marina home. Instead of her sitting in an institution drugged and drooling, she is running in the surf and learning in a school surrounded by people who love her where she is a best friend to little girls named Mary, Nancy and Candace. She is a sister to Evan and a daughter to us. She is a cousin to Cole, Laurel, Leela Mae, CJ Mayfield and Forest, as well as those in Colorado she has not met yet. She is a grand-daughter who is doted on. She shares a joy that is indescribably rich about how her life is going to turn out now. That is a polar opposite to where she would be today had we not moved when God made a way. She had only a week before she would have been transferred to the mental institution, her original destiny. God is mighty, He can make a way for anyone to save a child from hopelessness. I am humbled and honored that He made a difference for Marina through us. Adding her to this family is the reason my sorrow has turned to joy as she joins hands with Evan walking down the hall at school and adds chaos and laughter as well as tears and teaching to our lives...she has been a gift from God to us, each of us. And we are a gift to her. There are more waiting for the gift of a family and the teaching of Love. Orphan awareness, the time to be aware is now.